He's What?
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: Having a baby on the way, having to keep the identity of the father a secret, not wanting his coworkers to know, and falling even more in love with his boss than he already was…Edward's got a lot of problems. Mpreg.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, or any related characters.**

**Alright, guys, so as it says in the description, this is an MPREG fic. If you're not for that, I suggest you turn around.**

* * *

It never ceased to amaze Edward how _stupid_ some people were. And with alchemy, too! How could you be able to learn such a difficult skill and not have any common sense?

Sure, some people used it for _evil_, but at least, in some twisted way, their plans were logical…this woman had to be insane.

The assignment flashed through his head once more as he counted down on his fingers the seconds until he and Al would bust the door in.

Five.

_Maria Abercom, aged forty, mother of seven children._

Four.

_As far as sources can tell, angry because her husband doesn't appreciate the difficultly of childbirth._

Three.

_Despite alchemy only being a hobby, has trapped her husband inside a warehouse with the goal of…_

Two.

_...turning him into a woman so he can go through the same pain._

One.

Edward clapped his hands, transmuting the door away. With practiced speed, he took in the situation. In the back of his mind, he registered surprise; he hadn't thought the report of a crazy wife was, well, _serious_. But here it was, everything as he had been told.

Maria was standing beside a massive transmutation circle, covering almost the entire empty section of the warehouse. Her head whipped up as he entered, scowl deepening. At her feet the man Ed presumed to be her husband was tied up in the center of the circle.

They were just in time.

Without wasting a heartbeat, Edward ran towards the woman, Al just behind him. She spun around, leaving her husband in the circle, and ran into the maze of crates.

"We'll come back for you later!" Alphonse shouted towards the husband. Funny, Ed always forgot to reassure the victims, far too preoccupied with the chase…

There! The woman had jumped up, and was now running along the precariously balanced crates filling the rest of the warehouse.

Well, two could play at that game.

A swift clap, and Edward had transmuted the floor, pushing himself up into the air, landing with what he would like to call grace atop a particularly tall stack.

He was just behind her, but this lady was _fast_. She jumped aside just as he clapped again, destroying the crate that had just been beneath her—uh oh.

Ed fell straight onto Alphonse. Maria spared a moment to smile at him with superiority before taking off, back towards her husband.

Cursing, Edward pulled himself up, running on the ground once more. That was no good, he couldn't keep her in his vision—again, he clapped, rose, and landed on the crates behind her. He put on speed, glad he had the balance necessary to stay on the crates as they began to shake with the pressure of his footfalls as he ran.

So—close—

Maria jumped down, and Ed careened after her. He fell to the ground, rolling into a neat stop to avoid injury…right inside the transmutation circle.

In that one, terrifying instant before it began to glow, Edward spotted the woman crouching, hands on the circle, just a few feet from him.

Blue light flared up, obscuring his vision, but that was nowhere near as distracting as the pain. It was a lurching, bubbling feeling in his lower abdomen, like he was melting. Ed heard a muffled scream next to him, realized the husband was still in the circle. He somehow managed to think that he'd really botched this assignment—

And then the light was gone, the pain vanished along with it.

Edward gasped in relief, before his heart skipped a beat as he realized what this circle was supposed to do…

With a squeal, Ed reached down, not particularly caring that Maria was laughing as she watched him. Hand trembling (since when could automail tremble?), he grabbed his crotch—

Edward sighed gratefully at what he felt there. Yeah, still male.

Then it was his turn to laugh. Maybe it was childish, but he couldn't help it. "Take that, bitch!" he cackled, giving the woman before him a middle finger. He heard Al verbally roll his eyes behind him, marching over to restrain Maria. "It didn't even work!"

As Ed's laughter peetered out, he glanced at the lady. She was still grinning, despite her transmutation being a failure, despite being in custody…what a nut.

"That's what you think," she whispered.

If Edward hadn't had that one shred of modesty—and as it was, that was fairly small—he would have whipped out his dick to prove her wrong. To be honest, he thought about it, but a glare from Al stopped him.

* * *

Ed was almost asleep when someone knocked on his door.

"What the fuck?" he groaned, rolling over. "Who's here so _late_?"

On the bed below him, he heard Al moan as well before creaking springs announced his rising. Oh, the perks of sleeping on the top bunk.

Alphonse opened the door, and… "It's the Colonel, Brother."

Edward literally rolled off the bed—he had transmuted the safety rail off a month ago, claiming he wasn't going to fall—crashing to the floor. "The hell are you doing here, Mustang? Even you should be asleep right now," he grumbled after getting his breath back.

Although, if Ed was honest with himself, he was kind of glad it was Roy. A few months back, he'd started to develop quite the little crush on his superior, loathe as he was to admit it at first. Now…well, there were definitely worse people to visit him in the middle of the night.

Still, he had to keep up the act. He'd _die_ if Roy found out how he felt…

"I need a report on today, Fullmetal."

Okay, slight obsession aside, Edward was _not_ in the mood to hear that. "You can't wait until, I dunno, _tomorrow_?" he groaned, deciding to gather up the energy and get off the floor.

The man before him scowled. "Obviously not, why else would I bother coming here?"

"To piss me off?" Edward brushed off his back—that had been a long fall.

"Guys," Alphonse said weakly. Both Ed and Roy ignored him.

"It's not like I want to be here, Fullmetal—"

Ouch. "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry seeing me is such a pain in your ass—"

Roy raised his voice to match Edward's volume. "Well, yeah, when you act like this—"

Ed didn't even think about it; really, he needed to work on his temper, but that was just a little offensive. He clapped, sent a fist of rock at Roy's face, and the man snapped in defense—

The resulting explosion blinded Edward. He heard Alphonse cry out, Roy curse.

When he opened his eyes, he was flat on his back for the second time in as many minutes, scorch marks on his chest and a cuts stinging on his cheek and arm.

Their barrack was rather conspicuously missing, though Edward had a hunch that was where the ashes raining down on his head were coming from.

He allowed his head to fall back, not really wanting to see what Roy had to say about that.

There went his good night's sleep.

* * *

**Meh, kind of a setting up chapter. The next one will be exciting *snicker* You'll get the joke once I update...**

**In any case, from here on out the story's going to be better, but I hate it when mpreg doesn't have a reason behind it, so this was a reason chapter.**

**Yes.**

**In any case, let me know what you think~**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: This chapter contains a sex scene of sorts. HOWEVER, I strongly advise you read it, considering this is absolutely essential to the plot. You are not going to understand anything else if you don't read this chapter. If you ****_really_**** don't want to read this, PM me and I will tell you what happens in a very general, completely PG way.**

* * *

"I just can't believe I have to let you two stay in my house," Roy sighed, unlocking his front door.

Edward was, for once, subdued. Partly because he was tired, partly because having the man you have a tendency to lust after be so put out about being around you was depressing. "Look, I already said I was sorry. Multiple times. And I actually _mean_ it, too."

When Roy turned back at him, his tone was softer. Good. "Yeah, I know. And it was just as much my fault as yours, so…"

Grinning now, Ed retorted, "Wow, owning up to our responsibilities, eh? Mustang's growing up, Al."

Alphonse groaned. "Brother, if you keep talking like that, you're going to end up blowing up the Colonel's house. And then you'll _really_ be in deep shit."

The trio walked through the doorway into a living room. Roy didn't even pause, leading them down the hall. He opened a door, gesturing them inside. "The guest room. You guys can share a bed for one night, and I'll get another tomorrow...there's no telling how long you'll be here."

And with that, he waved, heading into the room across the hall, presumably his bedroom.

Edward walked in. "Well, it's clean, at least," he commented, gingerly sitting down on the white bed.

"Don't be so sarcastic, Brother," Al chastised, lying down next to him. "It could be a lot worse."

"True," Ed admitted, yawning. "Let's get some sleep. I have to write that report tomorrow…"

* * *

Edward groaned, opening his eyes slowly. He _hated _when this happened…a quick glance at the clock on the wall told him it was just past three in the morning. _Three in the fucking morning_. And he was awake, just because he had to pee.

Stupid bladder.

He got up carefully, not wanting to disturb Alphonse. Now…where was the bathroom?

Just down the hall. Right.

It took him ages to get there, stumbling around in a sleep-filled daze. He winced every time his automail struck the floor wrong, hoping it wouldn't disturb anyone…just because he had to be up, didn't mean he was enough of an ass to want everyone else to suffer as well.

Finally he made it. Finishing up, Ed tiptoed back down the hall, and that could have been that…if he didn't hear a deep moan come from the door to Roy's bedroom, ever so slightly ajar.

Edward's wildly overactive, hormone-driven imagination kicked into overdrive. This was too perfect, if this was what he thought it was…oh, he just _had_ to see what was happening…

Slowly, whisper-quiet, he pushed open the door a little further…a little further…another moan, another push, and Ed could see the man. Lying on his bed, blankets askew, clad only in boxers. Boxers that were distinctly, _delightfully_ tented.

Fucking hell, he was right; Roy was having a wet dream.

As the man moaned again, Edward bit back his own sounds, his pants tightening suddenly. This was too much. You _couldn't_ ask him not to watch...it wasn't like Roy would ever know.

Ed let his hand trail down his front, into his own boxers, grasping himself firmly. He bit his lip, trying to keep quiet—it wouldn't do to wake the man up.

He continued to pump, faster and faster as Roy's noises increased in frequency. And maybe Edward just _craved_ trouble tonight…but he was struck with a desire to _see_ Roy, and nothing could change his mind.

Removing his hand, Ed slipped into the man's room, eyes locked into his nether regions. He'd never been so careful, so nervous…so _excited_ before. It only took one light pull to dislodge Roy's boxers, and…

_"Ohh_." Edward clapped a hand over his mouth as he realized he had let out the quiet moan, but a quick glance to Roy's face told him no harm had been done. Reassured, he lowered himself to the ground, pulling his own shorts down and kneeling so that the man's (admittedly _massive_) erection was just in front of his face…

It wasn't long before he began to crave that thing that he didn't think was normal, not that he gave a damn. He wanted something inside him…Ed sighed, bringing his fingers up to his mouth. In that instant, Roy bucked, letting out one last moan, coming all over his own stomach.

Edward didn't even think about it; it was instinct. Roy was still asleep, and _he had to_. He dipped his fingers in the still-warm wetness, far preferring to use _that_ as lubrication. And without any further ado, he pushed his two fingers inside himself, whimpering ever so quietly at the feeling.

As he began to move, one hand in him and the other around him, Ed did what he always did: fantasized about Roy. Roy touching him, Roy kissing him, licking him, loving him…Roy _inside_ him…

With a soft cry, Edward came, splattering the floor. Removing his fingers, he slumped sideways, panting heavily. Masturbating _always_ made him tired, something about that all-over satisfaction, and add that to the long night he'd had…Ed was barely able to keep his eyes open.

After a minute of recuperation, he managed to stand. Just in time, he remembered Roy's boxers. With a quick tug, Edward had pulled them back up and into position. He surveyed the room once more, considering…no, he wasn't going to clean up. Why would Roy ever suspect it had been him? Granted, it could only be him or Al…but even if the man figured it out, he'd think Ed had done it to be an ass, not because he was actually hot for him.

No problem there.

Edward stumbled across the hall, and into the guest bed, falling onto it. Alphonse huffed lightly in his sleep, but Ed was so far past caring at that point he barely noticed. He was totally, completely blissed out, and happy as hell about that fact.

He allowed his eyelids to slide shut, a satisfied smile on his face…

* * *

Roy woke up feeling relieved, and the vague stickiness in his lower regions told him why. Whatever. Honestly, was there anything better than a wet dream? You get to wake up feeling refreshed, and you don't even have to stimulate yourself…perfect.

He sat up, stretching, and swung his legs over the side of his bed. Roy's foot came down on something cold and wet…he lifted it, confused, only to see a sizeable amount of jizz clinging to the underside of his foot. Grimacing in distaste, he grabbed a tissue from his bedside table and wiped the stuff off.

Only then did Roy wonder…he looked down; yes, he was still wearing his boxers.

So how the hell had he managed to get it all over the floor…?

Too tired to care, Roy shrugged it off. After all, you never could tell what had happened in your sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Somehow I always forget to mention this kind of thing...please forgive me! AL IS HUMAN HERE. Because I wanted it that way.**

**So yeah.**

* * *

Edward had never been so terrified to wake up. But he knew, he just _knew _that the second he let himself be alert he would get that feeling again. Still, he couldn't lie in bed forever…much as he wished that was possible, he had work to go to. Ugh. Sitting up, Ed stretched cautiously. Okay. Nothing so far. That was good…he swung his legs over the side of the guest bed he had taken and—Fuck!

Sprinting to the bathroom, Edward tried to hold it in, placing a hand over his mouth even as he gagged. He felt a little bit of liquid sneak out, and sped up. This had been happening all week; he'd wake up and get sick, violently so. The past few days, Ed had also been victim to a lingering stomachache after his vomiting.

He made it to the toilet just in time, skidding the last foot or so on his knees before last night's dinner came back up with a vengence. Edward heaved, throat burning as it just kept coming. After an eternity, his stomach settled, and he fell back, panting lightly.

Ed stood, holding his abdomen, and flushed. He swiped his free hand across his mouth, turning to leave—Al stood in the doorway, openmouthed.

"Hey, Alphonse…" Edward greeted halfheartedly, thoroughly exhausted from his little ordeal. He made a mental note to remember to close the damn door next time…but it had come on, come _up_, so suddenly…

"Brother…are you alright?" Al asked, eyes wide and voice small.

Ed tried to brush it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't sound so worried, I'm tough, I can handle puking every once in a while." Okay, yes, it had been happening all week, but he wasn't going to admit that. It was…almost embarrassing, being sick like this, especially considering that aside from the stomachache and maybe being a little tired he was completely fine once he got _that_ out of the way.

"Brother," Alphonse responded doubtfully. "You just upchucked for a solid minute."

So it really had lasted a long time; Edward wasn't imagining things. Stalling, he turned to the sink to wash his dirtied hands. "Lovely wording, Al, almost poetic, really."

"That's not normal!" his brother insisted. "People don't throw up like that unless they're really sick, Brother!"

"I'm _fine_," Ed retorted, allowing his tone to become just a little sharp. "It's probably just something I ate—"

"Roy's a decent cook, he wouldn't use rotten ingredients or anything that would cause this," Alphonse interrupted.

Edward glared, pushing his way out of the bathroom. "Well, maybe I pissed him off and he did just for me. It could happen." Ed blushed as he considered the mess he had made in the man's room last week…maybe revenge actually was the cause. "Or maybe I have an unknown allergy or something retarded like that. That would be just like my life, I'm strong and can do alchemy, blah, blah, blah, but I'm felled by an _allergy. _Point is,you don't need to worry so much about me."

And with that, he walked off, leaving a rather unsatisfied Al behind him.

* * *

Ed coughed painfully, another wave of sick flowing out of his mouth. Tears sprung to his eyes, partially from pain, partially from worry. This was _two weeks_ now. Even he couldn't deny that something weird was going on, and Edward _really_ didn't want to know what it was. What if this was serious? The last thing he needed was to know he was _dying_, or something dramatic like that, and to be honest, he almost preferred being ignorant.

Still, this puking thing was getting really old…and his throat was getting a bit raw.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Ed?"

Fuck. Roy. "Obviously this room is occupied, dipshit," he managed, before heaving again. He winced at the splash.

"I can hear you puking, Edward. Let me in," the man added, jiggling to doorknob.

Oh, Ed hated to admit it, but… "Even if I wanted you to come in here…I can't get up." Another wave. Shit. It usually wasn't this bad.

He heard a faint sigh, and then an odd scratching…and then the doorknob was gone entirely, transmuted away with ease.

"That was a new door, you know—" Roy began, interrupted by yet another splash of vomit hitting water. "I knew you were sick," he muttered, suddenly sounding much less concerned about the door. "Are you okay?"

"That depends," Edward moaned. "Are you worried about me, or me ruining your toilet?" Ha! See, he might be sick, but he could still be sarcastic. He wasn't too far gone.

"You know, I'm not enough of a jackass to be worried about the toilet right now," Roy answered in irritation, kneeling down next to Ed. "Of course I'm worried about you!"

It was like those simple words were an "on" switch, unleashing the floodgates. Edward sat up straight, breathing hard and began to cry involuntarily. "What's _wrong_ with me?" he wailed. "Shit, it's been like this for _two weeks_—Roy, I'm scared!" he admitted.

He tried in vain to stop the flow of tears, more embarrassed and angry than anything at this point. "And now I'm fucking _crying_!" Ed hit his fist on his leg in frustration—ouch, automail fist to flesh leg, bad idea. "I don't cry, _what the hell_? And—and I can't stop!"

Roy's shocked expression softened, and he reached over, hugging Edward. Wait, what? No, he wasn't imagining things; Roy was hugging him.

If he wasn't so sick, if he didn't feel like shit—and indeed, if he wasn't blubbering like some idiot—Ed would have been pleased by this development.

As it was, he just let it happen. The two stayed on the floor, Edward's sobs slowly petering out. Only once his breathing was back to normal (which took a fair amount of time), did Roy release him.

"Can you stand up?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Ed muttered, keeping his humiliated gaze on the ground. Ugh, this was horrible. Was anything less impressive than puking your guts out and then crying about it? Using the side of the sink for leverage, he pulled himself up, clutching his stomach as he did so.

He could feel Roy's stare, and hoped to the god he didn't believe in that it wasn't full of pity. The last thing he wanted was the man's fucking _pity_.

"Get dressed. I'm taking you to the doctor's."

Okay, maybe the second last thing. Edward winced at the thought of a doctor; it was one thing when he knew what was wrong, but what if they did some freaky tests on him this time? Hopefully his imagination was running wild with that one… "Uhm, don't you have to work?" he tried.

Roy sighed. "Don't let this get to your head, but…making sure you're not going to die on me is more important."

Well…Ed could live with that. He nodded, limping his way down the hall and into the guest room.

This would be fun.

* * *

**Duh duh duh...can I just say, I love the word "upchuck." And I don't regret that.**

**Let me know what you think~**


	4. Chapter 4

Edward bounced his flesh foot nervously, arms crossed in front of his chest. Waiting to be seen by a doctor was almost the worst part; the anxiety was killing him. He just couldn't deny that something had to be up if he was this sick, and while he was a little afraid to find out what the problem was, if he had to learn, he wanted to do so _now_.

But life didn't work that way.

Crossing his legs, Ed at least tried to be still, overly aware of Roy's eyes on him. He'd told the man he didn't have to come, but Roy had insisted…which was kind of nice, except for the fact that he was pretty sure it was just because Roy thought he would run away if he didn't stay. And the fact that whatever was ailing Edward might be embarrassing.

It took all his control not to groan aloud. He'd go insane before he ever got back there—

"Mr. Elric? The doctor is ready to see you," a nurse called out.

Never mind. He stood, palms sweaty with nerves. Ed tried for a bored expression, following her back to the doctor's office with Roy following _him_.

He walked in the door, immediately taking the doctor in. He was small, skinny, and looked vaguely nervous. Edward wasn't sure he trusted the man, but hey, he had to have gotten that shiny degree hanging on the wall for some reason.

He sat down opposite the doctor, and waited for him to speak.

"Hello, Mr. Elric—"

"Ed's fine, thanks."

"Ed, then. My name's Dr. Stevenson. What brings you in here today?"

Edward sighed, fidgeting. "I've been really sick—like, puking sick—lately. Just in the mornings. Sometimes I get a stomachache or I get really tired afterwards, but by afternoon I'm fine."

"And," Roy butted in, "he told me this has been going on for two weeks."

Ed glared at the man, but his irritated gaze quickly shifted to Dr. Stevenson, who was _laughing_. Fucking _laughing_.

"I'm sorry," he said hotly, "but could you explain what's so funny about me throwing up a lung every morning?"

"My apologies," the doctor responded, getting himself under control. "It's just unusual. You see, I get reports of these symptoms every so often, but they all come from women. _Pregnant_ women."

Edward swore the world stopped turning for a moment. Thoughts rushed through his head, puzzle pieces connecting at the cue of that one word. He hitched in a breath, but couldn't seem to let it out.

As if from far away, he heard Dr. Stevenson continue. "But of course, you couldn't be pregnant."

Still, he couldn't inhale. It took Roy slapping him gently on the shoulder and shouting his name before Ed managed to gasp for air. "Oh fuck," he whispered. "That little _bitch_!"

"Ed, what are you talking about?" That was Roy. Oh, hell, _Roy._

"A few weeks ago," he whispered, eyes wide but mostly unseeing. He was trapped in his memories—how was this happening…? "When that lady was trying to make her husband a woman? And I went out to stop her…I ended up in the transmutation circle, and she activated it."

He shouldn't have been surprised that Roy's response was anger. "That wasn't in your report! Does that mean…?"

"I still have a dick," Ed continued. "So I thought I was fine. But she told me not to be so sure…shit, what if it changed me, just on the inside? It did hurt… what if I'm pregnant!?" he wailed, the control he had suddenly failing.

"Ed," Roy said calmly, though his face was in his hands, "You still would've had to have sex…with a guy…and be the _bottom_ in order to become pregnant."

Actually, all that had to happen was some guy's jizz ending up in Edward's…extra parts, if he had them. Which was painfully possible, considering his recent activities. Which would mean Roy was the father.

The room began to spin, and blackness took over for a moment. Ed felt Roy catch him as he began to fall forward, and jerked back into consciousness. "Yeah," he murmured faintly, "something vaguely similar might have happened."

He felt the man beside him tense up in realization. "Holy fucking shit," Roy breathed.

Meanwhile, Dr. Stevenson looked thoroughly uncomfortable with the whole situation. "Uhm, well, in these…_unique_ circumstances, I think it would be best if I brought in an expert," he decided breathily, before speeding out the door.

Edward groaned. "Pregnant," he stated, in as calm a voice as he could manage. "I'm…pregnant."

"You don't know that," Roy insisted, though his tone was riddled with doubt. "Let's see what the specialist thinks."

And right on time, another doctor, this one wide and with excitable eyes, came bounding into the little room. "Name's Dr. Ted Tibman, but you can just call me Ted. Now, explain what I was just told."

And so Ed went through the whole thing again, doctoring only the bit about how he had become pregnant. Briefly, he considered confessing to Roy, telling him what he had done…but aside from embarrassing, the thought was, quite simply, impossible. How do you begin to explain that you stole someone's man milk to use as lube, and then ended up pregnant even though you're a guy?

No. He just…couldn't. Not right now.

When Edward was finished, the doctor sat there shaking his head, an amazed smile on his face. "You know, I think you're pregnant."

Though Ed had come to the same conclusion, hearing it from a professional made it terrifyingly final. He dared not look up at Roy, though he could hear the man's labored breathing as he tried to make sense of a nonsensical event.

Ted went on, his smile dropping away as he saw Edward's face. "I'm sorry. I'm just excited because of the singularity of the situation. I understand this must be…beyond stressful for you."

"Yeah, just a little," Ed breathed. His hands found their way to his abdomen…it seemed like it had to be a joke. There was no way a baby could be growing underneath his hands, his _male_ hands, _male_ body.

"Of course, I'll be with you every step of the way—unless you prefer someone else."

"No, no, you're fine…" Edward didn't really care who was going to be head doctor on this crazy case, as long as someone with some degree of understanding was there.

"Excellent. Then, to start off, I'm going to have to ask…when do you think this might have happened?"

Ed tried to keep a blush off his face. "Just over two weeks ago."

Roy finally spoke up. "You seem awfully sure."

Okay, there was no way he could keep his face its normal shade now. "It was, uhm, a…one-time thing," Edward muttered awkwardly.

"I see," the doctor stated. "Well then, I've caught you early, which is good. Why don't we draw up a schedule—tentative, of course—of when you should come in?"

But Ed's head was spinning again, and he felt like he was going to be sick. Somehow Roy picked up on this. "Here, Ed, why don't you go wait in the car. I'll figure this stuff out; you need a few moments to absorb."

Edward shook his head weakly. "But I need to know this stuff. What good is it going to do if you know when I'm supposed to come in and I don't?"

"Plenty, considering I'll be bringing you in."

That was almost more of a shock than the baby. Almost. "What?"

Roy looked at him and smiled gently, which was just about the last thing Ed expected. "Look, I'm not about to make you go through this by yourself. You think I'm so much more of a dick than I actually am—it's a little insulting. Ted's here for you, and so am I."

Edward wasn't sure whether he wanted to call BS, laugh, be happy, or start crying. He settled for nodding and walking out.

The car sounded rather comfortable right about then.

* * *

When Roy came out, he was carrying a thick stack of papers. "Symptoms to watch out for, along with the doctor's appointments, and a summary of what normally happens during each stage of the pregnancy. I figured I should get as much information as I could."

"Thank you," Ed whispered, his voice heavy with sincerity.

The car was silent for a few long minutes, before Roy got to the very topic Edward wanted to avoid most. "Listen…I'm going to need to know, so we can notify him. Who's the father?"


	5. Chapter 5

Ed's head began to ache as his mind whipped into overdrive. What to say? There was _no way_ he was going to tell Roy what happened. At least, not spontaneously like this; he'd find a way to make it so Roy wouldn't hate him first. If he told the man now…it wasn't like they were particularly close, despite what Edward may want (though Roy's recent and sudden dedication made that debatable), but he didn't want to make Roy so angry that he stopped speaking to him.

Ed almost sighed; telling him simply wouldn't do.

His immediate thought was to pin in on someone else, but then again, who could he call the father? Not anyone they knew, certainly. That would just lead to trouble.

"I don't want to say," he muttered finally. And that wasn't even a lie.

"Ed, this is important," Roy insisted. "Come on, it wasn't anyone we know, was it?" Luckily, he didn't wait for an answer. "Was it a hooker…?"

Hmm, a whore? Not the most appealing of excuses, but Edward was in a pinch, he couldn't afford to be picky. "Fine, you've got me. I paid some guy on the street to fuck me."

Roy took his eyes off the road for a brief second to send an incredulous look in Ed's direction. "No you didn't."

"What makes you say that?"

"You agreed way too quickly," Roy explained, rolling his eyes. "After you've been holding out? Nope, you're lying."

"Look," Ed said, ready to put an end to the conversation. "It doesn't _matter_ who the father is. I know you want to let him know he's having a kid, but really, he won't give a shit. If he finds out…" Edward gulped, continued. "If he finds out, he'd just be pissed and refuse to have anything to do with me. It's not like he'd be a source of support, so why bother?" Damn it to hell, he was getting all emotional again. But today had been way more stressful than anything he would have thought possible, so Ed supposed he had a good reason to be a little more sensitive than normal.

He took a breath, then finished his thought. "It's not like we're in a relationship or anything. He pretty much can't stand me, so…it's really for the best that I just do this on my own."

* * *

Something was wrong here. Sure, Ed might be embarrassed, but it still struck Roy as odd that he was being this resistant. Everything in him screamed to continue the interrogation, but…the boy looked a little red around the eyes, like he might break down any second. Really, he'd been forced to handle all he could today.

Roy decided it wasn't worth the risk of upsetting the blonde and dropped the topic of the baby's—he still found it hard to think that word—father. At least for now.

Instead, he chose some words of what he hoped would be comfort. "Ed, you may not have—or want—the father to be around, but…you don't have to do this alone. Alphonse would never abandon you like that, Ted is going to walk you through this, and like I said, I'm here for you as well."

But the boy just huffed slightly, and turned to look out his window.

Roy thought it best to not say anything else.

* * *

It wasn't until Ed got out of the car and began walking up the path to Roy's house that he considered Alphonse. He wasn't worried about his brother not understanding; Roy was right, Al would be with him to the end. Still, it was a little awkward to have to tell anyone, especially family, that you're both pregnant and still a guy.

Roy opened the door and let Edward walk in. He didn't get any time to prepare; Alphonse had been waiting on the couch, and jumped up as soon as he saw Ed. "So, what is it, Brother? Are you okay?"

"Uhm, Al, you…may want to sit down for this one," Edward began awkwardly, taking a seat himself.

Al did so, choosing the couch across from Ed, his face scrunched up in worry.

"Okay, so…remember that crazy lady who was trying to make her husband a woman?" Alphonse nodded. "And how I got stuck in the transmutation circle?" Another nod. Edward felt a bead of sweat run down the side of his face. "Well…I didn't think it had been effective. I mean, I still have a dick. But apparently the transmutation changed a few things…internally."

Alphonse's eyes widened as he realized this implication. "So you've got…lady parts inside you? That's why you've been sick? Makes sense, if your body isn't used to that kind of thing…"

Oh, if only it were that simple. "Actually, it's…worse. I, uhm, _may_ have managed to…fuck, there's no easy way to say this. I got pregnant."

Edward watched his brother carefully, but Al's face seemed frozen as he tried to process this information. When he finally spoke, it wasn't what Ed wanted to hear. "By _who_?"

"Damn it, why is everyone so preoccupied about that!?" he groaned, casting his gaze towards the ceiling. "It doesn't _matter_."

"But, Brother—"

"No! I'm not telling you who the father is, I don't want to make anything a mess—" Edward clapped a hand to his mouth as he felt his stomach heave, and jumped up, running for the bathroom. He slammed the door and knelt down in front of the toilet. Okay, so apparently getting too worked up could aggravate his stomach. Duly noted.

Ed felt his eyes tear up as he replayed the day in his head, panting, and was only half convinced they were from the pain of vomiting.

* * *

Roy watched the bathroom door, waiting for it to open. On the one hand, he felt like he should make sure Edward was okay, but on the other hand, the blonde probably needed his space.

"What did I say?" Al whispered, clearly upset.

"It wasn't your fault. I was asking him the same question the whole way over here, so hearing it from you as well probably just set him off."

"But Brother's so upset…" Alphonse bit his lip. "Who do _you_ think it is?"

Roy considered this. "I don't know, but whoever it is, I think Ed's attached to them. He'd be pissed otherwise, sure, but in the car he seemed pretty beat up, telling me the guy wouldn't care and all that. He doesn't even seem as upset about the pregnancy itself as he is about the father."

"So what should we do?"

"Just leave him be, I suppose. I don't know how to make him feel better without knowing who it is, but if he reacts like this, I think it's best not to bring that up again." Roy stopped speaking abruptly as the bathroom door opened. Edward emerged, pale and looking like he'd just about had it with life.

"Brother, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" Al said, hugging the blonde gently.

"Don't worry about it, you had no idea that would happen," Ed murmured.

"Ed, why don't go you rest?" Roy suggested. "I know it's really early, but you've had…a long day, to say the least."

The boy nodded. "Yeah, I think I will. Wake me up when it's dinner?" Edward didn't even wait for an answer, retreating into the guest room.

Roy sighed, and looked at the clock. Well, the least he could do was make some stew for the poor kid.

* * *

**Guys, as much as I want to keep the timing a secret (that's the fun of this one *wink*), due to the number of people wanting to see Roy's reaction...I'll give you a hint. It's going to be a really, really long time before he finds out.**

**I mean a really long time. So don't be disappointed when it takes a while to get there-he'll find out eventually, I promise, and it will be nice and dramatic.**

**Hope you all can handle that XD**


	6. Chapter 6

When Edward woke up the next morning, he was cautious, moving slowly so as to not disrupt his stomach. He was planning on trying to get some breakfast in him, beat this stupid morning sickness thing, but Roy was waiting outside his door.

"Uhm…hi?"

Roy didn't beat around the bush. "It was Jean, wasn't it? He's the father."

If Ed had been drinking anything, he would have spat it out. As it was, he choked a little bit. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"I was up thinking about it last night, and if it was just over two weeks ago when you got pregnant, you were here when it happened…which is in itself a weird thought. Obviously, you didn't fuck Al, and it wasn't me—" Oh, Edward was blushing up a storm right now…please don't let Roy ask about it… "—and the only other person who's been over here is Jean. He came over for drinks the day after you guys moved in, actually."

Fucking hell, did he really have to deal with this right now? He just woke up! How was Edward supposed to navigate such complicated waters—he still didn't know _how_ he was going to tell the man the truth. "Okay, look, I'm still not telling you who the father was, but I guarantee it wasn't _Jean_. Seriously, I'll swear on whatever's important to you that it wasn't him. He's a good looking guy and all, but I wouldn't have him _fuck_ me. I'm not some kind of whore, you know, jumping on whatever man will take me."

Roy seemed to debate this for a moment. "I never said you were a whore. And I suppose I believe you, but it still had to have happened here, so…"

"Technically," Edward responded, "it could have happened while I was out at work, or if I went out to eat I might have met a hot waiter. Regardless, can you just…drop it?" He felt his voice getting weaker. "I really don't want to talk about it…it's just—" But he didn't get to finish his sentence, as he got that puking feeling again. Sending Roy an apologetic glance, he rushed to the bathroom.

It was irritating how familiar this view of the toilet was getting.

When he was finished, Roy was waiting there again. "I'm sorry," the man sighed. "I keep doing that to you. I guess I'm just confused about the situation…and a little curious."

"Confused?" Ed turned on the sink, cupping some water in his hand and bringing it up to his mouth to wash out the taste. "That makes two of us."

Roy looked at him for a moment before mercifully changing the subject. "Anyway, about work…you know, eventually you're going to have to take off, right?"

"Yeah," Edward sighed. That was another thing he didn't want to think about. This whole pregnancy thing was really complicated. "I know. I'm going to work for as long as I can, though. I don't want everyone knowing."

"So you're not going to tell the team?" Roy's voice took on a surprised tone.

"No," Ed decided after a long moment. "Maybe later, but quite frankly, I want to get to the point where I understand and am comfortable—or at least as comfortable as I can get—before I involve too many people, you know?"

"I'm not going to disrespect you decision on that one," Roy answered after a long pause. "But don't feel like you can't tell everyone because they'll be disgusted, or something. Believe it or not, everyone there is quite fond of you."

Edward watched his retreating back and couldn't help but smile.

* * *

It was weird, but in the office, everything was so…normal. Ed felt different, but no one was treating him oddly at all—not even Roy, who had told him to be in front of his desk in ten minutes for an assignment not too long ago. It was incredibly refreshing.

Edward made his way to Roy's office, knocking and entering once he had been told to do so. Usually, he wouldn't have bothered being this polite, but considering the man's recent kindnesses, he decided against being a little ass.

"Okay, so, what's the assignment?"

Roy sighed, twirling his pen in his hand. "There's a group of Ishbalans rebelling in East City. We want to keep it contained, but because of the location, that's proving difficult. You need to go and calm them down. With force, if necessary, but if you can just talk it out that would be better."

Ed nodded; didn't sound too difficult. He wouldn't even be going up against other alchemists. "Right. When do I leave?"

The man snorted slightly. "Five minutes ago would have been good."

* * *

The minute Edward and Al stepped off the train, it was chaos. No Ishbalans were in sight, not yet, but the crowds were moving fast, panicked, away from where the riot was located. Ready for some action—again, it was nice to feel like everything was _normal_—Ed sprinted that direction, bucking the trend with Alphonse in tow.

It wasn't long before they spotted a few Ishbalans, shouting and chasing a small group of Amestrians down the street. Edward didn't hesitate; he dropped to the ground, clapping his hands, and caused a rock to give one of them a vicious right hook. The man went down, but one of his partners spotted Ed, glaring. Al surprised the third and last one, engaging him in hand to hand combat while the second came at Edward.

He performed another quick transmutation, forming his classic spear out of the ground in front of him. Just in time, too—the Ishbalan came at him fast, aiming for his head. But Ed was quicker, swiping the man's arm away and then twisting his spear so the side came crashing down on the Ishbalan's neck. He crumpled.

Edward looked to see that Alphonse had taken the third one down, and then was on the move once more.

Not a minute later, two more Ishbalans crossed their path. These guys looked more dangerous, both muscular, with one holding a broken pipe and wielding it like a sword. Still, they could take them.

Ed went for the one with the pipe, leaving the bigger man to Al. He swung his spear at his target's head, but he was blocked by that pipe. Well, fine. He clapped, grabbing the damn thing with his free hand and transmuting it into dust. Took care of that quite nicely.

But while he was distracted, the Ishbalan made his move, punching Edward hard, right in the stomach.

Pain flashed like white lightning in his mind, and he gasped, finding it hard to breathe. Instinctively, he took this opportunity to slap the man upside the head with the flat end of his spear. Ed was relieved when his opponent went down; he didn't have it in him to do anything else at the moment.

He collapsed onto his knees, hand pressed against his throbbing abdomen. Al ran over. "Brother, are you okay?"

What was he supposed to say? Yeah, he was fine, he'd taken way worse hits before. But this was his _stomach_. Until recently, that was it, but now there was a baby growing under his fingers, crazy as that may seem, and Ed was beginning to panic with the worry that he'd just stopped that process altogether. "He hit my stomach," Edward whispered.

That was the moment when it became real for Ed. It just…clicked. Before, the word "pregnancy" was just that—a word. But now…this was a life that was inside him. His baby. Roy's baby, though the man didn't know it. The thought made him oddly warm, but also cold, considering what had just happened.

And there was nothing he could do but see Ted when he got back, and hope his baby was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Edward could hardly breathe, sitting in the doctor's office _again_. If the wait last time had been brutal, this was excruciating. He'd rushed back as soon as their train arrived in Central, but it had still been a full day since he was hit. Now, waiting with Al to see Ted, Ed couldn't keep his hands off his stomach. What if, so _early on_, he'd managed to hurt—he gulped, held back panicky tears (what the hell was up with the crying anyway?)—or even kill his baby already?

Why'd he have to take the stupid assignment? Why didn't he know better? And why did he have to suddenly become attached to his baby _now_, when it's life was no longer a sure-fire thing?

If they didn't let him back soon, he was going to force his way past the damn door and get his answers.

Alphonse patted him gently on the shoulder, trying to calm him down. But how could he possibly relax now? Unless he passed out from the stress. That was always possible.

Finally, finally they called his name, and Edward walked into Ted's office. As soon as the door shut, the dam burst and he was crying.

"Ed, Ed, calm down. What is it?" the doctor said, ushering him to sit down.

"I went on a _fucking _assignment!" Edward half-shouted, angry at having to admit his idiocy. "I was told to go calm down some riot in the east with the Ishbalans, and—and—"

"He was punched rather hard…in the stomach," Al finished quietly, as Ed blubbered.

"Is my baby going to be okay!?" Edward blurted. He was terrified, but he had to know. His baby couldn't be _gone_…

But Ted was quiet. Oh, no, please no, why was he so damn quiet!? "It's hard to say," the doctor answered eventually. Ed deflated, collapsing into his chair as Ted continued. "Your case is unique. For example, how you're already experiencing morning sickness and are already very emotional. The women I treat don't have those symptoms for at least the first month of their pregnancy. I would speculate that due to the fact that your body is not at all meant for this, you're going to have a harder time in general. And the first months of pregnancy are the most delicate, the time when the baby is the most fragile…"

Ed couldn't breathe. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't his fault…but he couldn't shake the knowledge that if he had just refused the assignment, stopped trying to act like everything was fine, his baby wouldn't be in jeopardy.

"Let me ask you this," Ted said after a moment. "Have you experienced any bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Ed sniffed.

"Yes. When a woman has a miscarriage, sometimes she will bleed and have cramps—similar to menstruation…not that you know anything about that."

Edward shook his head. "No, I haven't been bleeding…does that mean my baby's okay?" he asked hopefully.

"Well," Ted answered hesitantly. "Bleeding doesn't always occur, although like I said, your symptoms are exacerbated, so I would expect it. Then again, due to how early this is, there might not be much inside you to pass through the bleeding. I believe you may have gotten lucky, but to be honest with you, only time will tell."

Shaking, Ed tried to compose himself. "But everything might be fine?"

"Potentially, yes. If so, you've truly experienced a miracle."

"I don't believe in miracles," Edward whispered. "I don't believe that there's some higher being watching over me casting away danger, as convenient as that would be in this situation. So…I guess I just have to hope I still have some luck left."

* * *

As soon as they got back to Roy's, Ed raided the man's refrigerator. If he was going to do this pregnancy thing—he _hated_ how that rhetorical "if" suddenly took on a very new and frightening meaning—he might as well get straight to the eating-shit-in-massive-amounts-when-upset portion. Chocolate. Perfect.

Edward grabbed the entire tub and curled up with it on the couch, in full-on worry mode. Al offered to sit with him, but at the moment Ed just wanted to wallow in his guilt and sadness like some pathetic asshole. Which, debatably, he was.

And he was still doing just that when Roy arrived home.

Oddly enough, instead of getting mad at Ed for potentially ruining his upholstery with ice cream, the man walked over and hugged him tightly. Edward did his best not to relax into the embrace, but it was sad how much he needed that.

"I heard what happened," Roy whispered. "I'm so sorry…I should have known better, I shouldn't have sent you on that mission. I just didn't want to make things any harder on you, and now this…"

"No," Edward answered. "It's my fault. You wouldn't have done it if I hadn't pressed for normalcy. Damn it!" he exploded suddenly, causing Roy to jerk away momentarily. "I'm such a _dick_! All this, just for me to protect my fucking pride or whatever, just so I don't have to face what happened…and now I might have killed my baby…"

"'Your baby?'" Roy asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah," Ed responded. What, was the man deaf? "That's what this is. I'm pregnant. So it's _my_ baby inside me."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Well, obviously. It's just an interesting term. You could have just said 'it' or even just 'the baby.' But you claimed ownership. I just didn't think you'd already be this…attached."

Edward rubbed at his stomach awkwardly. Yes, this just enhanced the man's point, but he couldn't help it. "I guess…I mean, I am. I just think it was the shock—_is_ the shock—of maybe losing my baby that really made me realize that it's _mine_. Mine and—" he cut himself off. Damn, that had been close. "It doesn't matter," he continued hastily. "The point is, it's mine. My baby. And…fucking hell, I sound like a doting _mother_."

"You_ are_ a mother," Roy chuckled. "C'mon, finish your thought, this is adorable."

Glaring, Ed did as he was bid, voice soft despite his expression. "I just found out I was pregnant. And that reality just hit me. But…I still love my baby. I know that sounds stupid. How can I _already_ love it, when it's not even been a month? But I can't help it."

Edward bit his lip as he finished, realizing how dumb he sounded. But Roy just hugged him once again, this time not letting go. Ed wondered if now would be a good time to tell him…to just say, "Hey, this is your baby, too." But he couldn't ruin the moment like this…okay fine, he was just scared. Besides, if his baby might not make it, what was the point?

He'd worry more about how to explain what had happened (which was a pretty daunting task) if and when he confirmed he still had a baby to tell the man about.

The thought had Ed cringing into Roy's embrace once more, and he didn't even have the energy to care about how strange he was acting, or be concerned that he was probably being more than friendly with someone he wasn't even supposed to get along with.

He closed his eyes, considering a nap. This was all way too complicated.

* * *

**Sorry for ending (taking a break for vacation) at such a horrible spot! But really, you needn't have worried. I'm not about to kill off the baby!**


	8. Chapter 8

For the past month or so, Edward had been a little wiser concerning the health and safety of his baby. He'd avoided missions like the plague, and thanks to Roy's help, he didn't even have to tell anyone that he was pregnant. The man did his best to avoid giving Ed any, making up excuses (like having to punish Edward for pulling some prank with office work, or the expenses), but when that wasn't possible Roy actually snuck off and went in his place, for which Edward was eternally grateful.

Still, all that precaution might have been for nothing, and he couldn't forget that. Now, with Ed sitting flanked on either side by Roy and Al at the doctor's once more, was the time to find out.

Ted had called them in, though Edward couldn't guess what made _today_ special. What about this particular time (just a week or two over a month) in his pregnancy made the doctor think he would be able to tell if his baby was okay? Of course, Ed wasn't going to question Ted's decision, as the man was ten times as experienced as he would ever be…but still. He was curious.

And nervous. He couldn't deny that. After all, Edward had been beating himself up all month over potentially having ended his baby's life when it had only barely begun…he gulped, trying to stifle the negative thoughts. They wouldn't help anything.

He could feel both Roy and Alphonse watching him. Another reason to control himself; he didn't want to have another embarrassing meltdown in front of either one of them.

Finally, finally the nurse called him in. Ed felt a little light headed standing up and walking back to Ted's office. Now was the moment.

He was about to sit down again, when the doctor motioned for him to stop. "I'll get straight to business, Ed. I know you must be anxious." Edward nodded, and he continued. "If you could, please lift your shirt up—or just take it off, whatever you prefer."

That was an odd request, but Ed only shrugged and pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it in the empty chair.

There was an immediate reaction from his two companions. Roy, eyebrows raised, let out a soft, fascinated, "Hmm." Alphonse, on the other hand, gasped somewhat more dramatically.

"What?" Edward asked, staring down at his stomach. He wasn't showing or anything—even if his baby _was_ fine, it was _way_ too early for that (something he now knew, having read everything he could about pregnancy after his accident). "What's wrong?"

"You can't tell, Brother?"

"Tell _what_, Al?" Ed asked impatiently. He didn't see how this had anything to do with his baby, and whatever it was, he was pretty sure this _distraction_ could wait.

"You stomach," Roy answered. "Your abs, actually. Can't you tell? They're much less defined."

Again, Edward's gaze turned to his abdomen. Were they? He couldn't see a difference. "You guys are nuts."

"Actually, Ed," Ted interjected, "they're right. The muscles in your stomach aren't very noticeable at all, anymore. You probably just haven't noticed it because it's been a gradual change, and because it's not like they've disappeared entirely. They're just smaller."

Now that the doctor explained it, Edward thought maybe he could see a little difference. Maybe his abs were a little less obvious than before. "Okay, so what? I'm not here so that we can speculate on my fitness level…"

Ted shook his head, smiling indulgently. "No, this has nothing to do with your fitness. As I'm sure you're aware, you haven't been pregnant long enough to have that classic 'baby bump.' But it would appear that your lower body _is_ changing, softening up so to speak."

Oh. That made sense; now that Ed thought about it, he wouldn't just go from abs of steel to a baby bump. There had to be some transition, which apparently was where he was at now. A thought hit him; if his body was changing for his baby, then… "Does that mean my baby's okay!?" he shrieked, unable to contain himself.

The doctor before him grinned full on, eyes glimmering. "Well, you've definitely still got a little one growing in there."

Before now, Edward had always thought people were exaggerating when they said no words could describe what they felt, but he suddenly found himself in the same predicament. "Happy," was like saying he was depressed. Perhaps "elation" was the closest, but Ed was so far past that…joyful tears burned his eyes, and for once he didn't care that he probably looked ridiculous.

* * *

Roy smiled along with Ted as he announced the good news, and his grin just kept growing as he watched Edward. The boy was just so damn _adorable_—there was no other way to describe it. He was about to cry, but also smiling so hard his cheeks looked like they were going to bust. The blonde's hands had descended (as they often did, now, which was another thing Roy found, quite simply, _cute_) to his stomach.

The attachment, the love Ed felt for his little mystery baby was astounding. And though Roy was sure there was something not quite right about thinking your pregnant, male, underage subordinate was just plain sweet when he was doting on his baby…well, he didn't particularly care.

This just wasn't a sight that could afford any other reaction.

* * *

"Now, I do have to warn you…" Ted said, voice taking a more serious turn. "I can't rule out any defects. Your baby is alive, yes, but he or she might be born with irregularities, like—"

"I don't care," Edward interrupted. "I don't care at all. My baby's okay—at least, alive—and that's all that matters. I'll deal with any defects if they come, but…that doesn't matter."

"Fair enough," the doctor responded. He stood, grabbing Ed's shirt and handing it to him. "In that case, that's all. You've got your answer," he continued, as Edward pulled his clothing back on. "And there's nothing else I have to cover right this instant. I'll see you on your next visit."

Alphonse, apparently unable to contain himself any longer, jumped over and hugged Ed tightly. Roy was less forward, simply placing a hand on Edward's shoulder, but he could see the light in the man's eyes.

It was gratifying to see that he wasn't the only one excited about his baby, though distinctly odd to see the unknowing father in that state…Ed pushed the thought away. Now just wasn't the time, he was too happy to worry about explanations now.

What Roy suggested next sounded much more appropriate. "So, how about we go and celebrate? My treat."

* * *

**So sappy.**

**Hope everyone's cool with that.**

**I'm not sure how many of you've already seen this, but I have a poll up on my profile about a new story I want to start! It would be a big help if you could take the time to vote, I need opinions~ Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

Edward didn't regret being pregnant (as strange as it was to have to come to terms with such a thing). But still, some things could be a little annoying—like how it was interfering with his sleep.

For some reason, on certain nights, he just couldn't fall asleep despite how exhausted he was. Tonight was one such night, and as he always did, Ed found himself curled up on the couch with an alchemy book. He hadn't been using alchemy, seeing as he hadn't been on any missions lately, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it. Besides, Roy had tons of books he'd never read before, so there was plenty to keep him entertained.

Edward was just flipping through an encyclopedic volume looking for anything on fire (as rare as the art was, Ed was dying to learn just a little, just enough to irritate Roy a bit) when he heard a noise behind him.

He turned around to see the very man he'd just been thinking about walking up behind the couch. He'd clearly just woken up, judging from his bleary eyes and haggard tone. "Ed? What're you doin' up?"

"Couldn't sleep," Edward replied. He held the book up for Roy to see. "Thought I'd do some reading."

"Mind if I join you?" Roy asked, even as he half fell onto the couch beside Ed.

"You don't look like you _want_ to…or can, for that matter."

"Okay, I'd rather be asleep," the man admitted. "But it feels rude to leave you alone out here."

Ed rolled his eyes, laughing slightly. "You're ridiculous."

"Says the pregnant kid." Roy had him there.

The two were silent for a moment, Edward flipping through the book somewhat more discreetly than previously, Roy trying to wake up. Eventually, the man spoke, sounding much more alert now. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you miss the father?"

The words pinned Ed to the couch. "Why are you so obsessed with that?"

"Because I know it happened under my watch," Roy answered, matching his testy tone. "Besides, I'm not trying to figure out who it is, so calm down. I'm just…curious. It's called being conversational, Ed."

Fair enough. And…Edward really should tell him. Maybe now, with a tired Roy…maybe that would be the best. "I don't miss him, exactly," he began, choosing his words carefully to broach the topic in a roundabout way. "I mean…he's always around, so I can't _miss_ him. I just…" Should he admit this? What the hell, why not? "I wish we were closer," Ed whispered.

Roy took this in for a moment, absorbing. Edward kept his eyes glued to the page, pretending to be disinterested, though he knew the man probably wasn't buying it. "This wasn't just some fling, was it? You really care about this guy."

Almost against his will, Ed nodded.

He could see Roy biting the edge of his lip out of the corner of his eye. "Was it Falman?"

"What? No!"

"Fuery?"

"What the hell, Roy—"

"Please tell me it wasn't Breda. I don't want to picture that—"

"You shouldn't be picturing it at all!" Ed yelled, slapping Roy on the arm.

The man looked at him, amused. "What, I can't help it. But that rules out everyone on the team, since you already said it wasn't Havoc…"

Edward was silent, openmouthed. He should say it. He really should. He felt his face—no, his body heat up, and not in the pleasant way. "Is it hot in here to you?" he asked suddenly.

Roy looked at him oddly. "Not really."

Disgruntled, Ed huffed and pulled his shirt off, fanning himself with it. Beside him, Roy laughed. "You know, if you're always this eager to strip, it's no surprise you got pregnant."

Edward just stared at the man. "That's pretty harsh. You know, I was thinking you would be in a good mood, and maybe I would tell you—"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Tell me."

Ed just sat there, silent. If Roy was going to make underhanded comments like that… "Nope, I don't think I will."

"Oh, come on—"

"Actually, there's something else I wanted to ask you about," Edward interrupted. "I'm at two months now, which means it's been that long since we blew the barracks up…aren't they repaired yet?"

* * *

Roy _knew_ Ed was just trying to distract him…but it worked. "Yes," he said slowly, trying to figure out how he could work this out. To be honest, he didn't _want_ the boy to move out. Something about his presence in the house was…wonderful.

He watched Edward carefully as the blonde fiddled with the book he'd been reading, now discarded to the side. "Well…in that case, I guess me and Al can leave tomorrow…"

Roy ran through his options and decided he had only one. "You don't have to go," he murmured, hoping he didn't sound too creepy. "I know I complained a lot at first, but I really don't mind having you here. Actually…it's kind of nice. And besides, you don't seriously think I could let you go back to the barracks with a baby in tow, do you?"

He was shocked by how much Ed lit up, even though he could tell the boy was trying to hide it. "Really?" he asked, eyes glowing.

Roy smiled, scooted just a little closer. "Of course. You can stay here for as long as you want, I don't mind. And of course that goes for Alphonse as well."

Edward placed a hand on his stomach, rubbing absently. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "To be honest, that's one thing I was worried about, being pregnant in a place like that…thank you!" he repeated, giving Roy a quick, surprising hug before backing off.

And maybe it was just him, but the boy's face seemed a little pink.

Roy grinned once more, standing up and pulling a confused Ed with him. "Come on. It's late, you should really get to bed."

The blonde nodded, leading the way down the hall. Just before his door closed, Roy heard a whispered, "Good night."

It was surprising, how intimate those two words sounded. Unable to stop thinking about them, it was a long time before he could get back to bed.

* * *

**Fun fact about me that you didn't need to know: depending upon how close I am to a person, I will tell them good night in different ways. That kind of inspired the last little bit there.**

**Hope you like it~**


	10. Chapter 10

Edward sighed, walking into the living room half dressed. As much as he knew it was important, he didn't _feel_ like going to the doctor today. Maybe he was being lazy, but…it just seemed like so much effort.

Still, at least he had a celebratory dinner (since this was the end of his first trimester) to look forward to later.

Ed wandered into the kitchen, mumbling a greeting at Roy, and grabbed some toast from the counter. He made a mental note to thank the man for breakfast, once he was more awake.

Leaning against the wall (he would never wake up if he sat down), Edward munched away, slowly becoming aware that Roy was watching him. He looked up, raising his eyebrows, and was met with a wide smile.

"What?" he asked. While this attention wasn't exactly uncalled for, it was unexpected, and maybe a little weird.

"You're showing," Roy answered simply. "Just barely, but I can see a little bump."

Edward looked down at his bare chest, placing a hand as he so often did now on his stomach. "Hmm…"

"What? Aren't you happy?"

"Yeah," Ed responded thoughtfully. "I mean, a part of me is. This is amazing…that I can see it now, my baby growing. But…it's not going to be long before my bump gets hard to hide."

Roy put down the bowl he had been scrubbing and walked over to Edward, placing a hand on his shoulder. "So you'll have to tell everyone. It's not that big a deal."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Easy for you to say."

The man didn't bother responding to that comment, instead glancing at the clock. "You'd better put a shirt on, we have to get going."

Nodding, Edward walked back to his room, finishing his toast on the way. "Al," he called out as he passed the bathroom. "We're leaving soon."

"Okay!"

Ed continued to his bedroom and threw on the first shirt he saw. Huffing, he sat on his bed, retrieving his boots and pulling them on. Easy enough.

He joined Alphonse in the hallway and they both made their way to the front door, where Roy was waiting.

* * *

"Hello, Ed, how are you doing today?"

"Tired," Edward sighed, pulling himself onto the examination table as Roy and Al sat in the extra chairs the office provided.

Ted laughed. "In that case, I'll try to make this quick. If you could just take off your shirt…"

Ed did so, sitting it onto the table next to him. Ted stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on his stomach. "Sorry," the doctor apologized. "This might feel a little invasive, but I have to make sure everything feels normal."

"It's cool," Edward responded. He had to admit, it did feel a little strange—no one ever touched his stomach—but it wasn't distressing. After all, Ed was eventually going to have to get used to this; as he continued to grow, he just _knew_ Alphonse was going to be all over him.

"Alright, everything feels fine."

"It's not too early?" Ed asked. "I didn't think people were supposed to show this soon."

"Well," Ted answered, "that varies depending upon the person. Some women begin to see a bump as early as eight or ten weeks, some don't show until much later in their pregnancy. You're just on the early side, as you have been with pretty much everything; that's good, though. At least you're consistent. Besides, you can tell you have a bump, but with a shirt on it isn't evident at all."

Edward nodded, content with this response.

"Now," the doctor continued. "Have you felt any unusual pain? Intense cramping, perhaps? Or have you experienced any bleeding?"

"Nope."

"Excellent. No pain in your lower back?"

Ed shook his head, glad to report that he was doing fine—and so, presumably, was his baby.

"Does it ever hurt to move? Or is there a certain position you don't find comfortable?"

Again, he shook his head.

Ted nodded, smiling softly. "That's good. Now, don't worry if your back does start to hurt, or if something begins to be uncomfortable; that can happen and doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong. I just have to ask, because if you do feel anything like that, we need to check it out."

"Sounds good." Edward bit his lip. "Hey, Ted, I do have one question."

"Go ahead."

Oh, this was just…awkward. "How…how am I supposed to give birth?"

He watched as Alphonse gaped, and Roy's eyebrows inched upward. It was something Ed had just thought about recently, and apparently the idea hadn't crossed their minds yet either.

"You're probably not going to want to hear this…" Ted began. "But the baby is going to have to be born just like any other baby; coming out the same way it went in."

Edward felt his face growing red even as he fought to swallow. He'd been afraid of that. And now he had another question—fuck, he didn't want to ask this in front of Roy and Al, but… "How the hell is that supposed to happen? I can't—there's no way a baby is going to—"

"Yes," Ted mused. "The anus is much less well adapted to birthing than a vagina…" Oh, and Ed thought he had been blushing before. "But there are ways to overcome this."

"Uhm, Brother?" Al interrupted. "I think I'm going to wait for you outside…quite honestly, I don't want to hear this."

Edward couldn't blame his brother. If he could leave, he would. "Okay, Al." He found his gaze sliding over to Roy—honestly, could there be anything less attractive than discussing how you're going to squeeze a baby out of your ass? No, Ed didn't think he wanted the man to hear this, and gave him a look that said so quite plainly.

"Oh no," Roy stated, his own stare challenging. "I'm not leaving."

Ed looked to the doctor. "Ted? Can I force him to get out of here?"

Ted rubbed a hand against his chin thoughtfully. "Well…technically you are underage, and he _has_ been acting as a guardian of sorts throughout his…I don't think so."

Roy grinned dubiously, leaning back in his seat in victory.

"But it's _embarrassing_," Edward whined.

The man's expression turned serious. "Look, Ed, I'm just trying to make sure everything goes smoothly. Yeah, I get it, this is awkward, but I'm not going to shove it in your face or anything. I'm trying to make this easier on you, not harder."

Sighing, Ed gave in. "Fine. What am I supposed to do?"

"Stretching." Ted answered simply. "I was going to tell you this at your next appointment, but now is fine too. You're going to have to practice stretching your anus."

To be honest, Edward had heard of worse ideas—that wasn't something he was necessarily, ahem, unaccustomed to—but to say it in front of _Roy_… "Okay, fine," he muttered, trying to get this over with as quickly as possible. "I can do that."

"At first, yes," the doctor conceded. "But eventually, as you stretch yourself further, you're going to need to have someone else help. One, because the angle you would have to be at to do it yourself will become harder to achieve as you grow, and two because you will not be able to—and I'm sorry, I'll have to put this bluntly—reach as far, or push something in as far, as someone else would."

Edward _almost_ wanted to die right about then. He was fairly sure he'd never been this flushed before. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not. Of course, we have staff who could do this for you, if you don't have anyone else you'd prefer…"

Oh, it took all Ed's willpower not to glance at Roy. He could feel the man's gaze boring into him, but no, he wasn't going to meet his eyes. He was terrified that if he did so, his answer would be written all over his face: that he wouldn't particularly mind if Roy shoved _something_ up his ass…

Edward had to cover his face in his hands to try to avoid that mental picture, or at least to avoid anyone seeing the expression it caused.

There was a tense moment of silence in the room. "Is that all?" Ed whispered, head still in hand.

"One more thing," Ted said apologetically. "There is a particular kind of pillow—called a doughnut cushion—that I would like you to sit on whenever possible. It is used for injuries to the tailbone, and relaxes the surrounding muscles, so it should help a little with the stretching. I think I might have one in the back…let me check."

And with that the doctor departed, leaving Ed and Roy alone in his office. Edward was silent, not trusting himself to say anything. What could you possibly say?

For once, the man was mercifully silent.

Ted came back in a minute later, holding a bright blue, circular pillow with a hole in the middle. Edward looked at it with slight distaste, taking it when it was handed to him.

"There you go," the doctor murmured. "That should do it. I know you don't want to hear anymore, but I have to tell you: for now, you can stick to stretching yourself, with your fingers. Please don't use any unorthodox tools—you don't want to get an infection."

Ed nodded, pleading with his eyes to be released. Ted conceded. "You can leave."

Edward jumped down, pulling his shirt on and half running from the room with surprising speed.

When he reached the car, he pulled over the front passenger door—couldn't manage to say anything to Al—and after a moment's consideration, tossed the pillow onto the seat before clambering in.

Letting out a surprised sound, Ed leaned his head back. This was actually quite comfortable. He closed his eyes, and heard the driver's side open up.

"You know, one good thing about all this…" Roy started. "Is that the pillow makes you look taller."

Edward opened his eyes just long enough to smack the man's arm.

* * *

**A big thank you to Saia-chan, who gave me a lot of ideas included in this chapter. I think, with her suggestions, this story is going to be even better than I had originally planned, so thank you so much! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning: there is a light masturbation (ahem, "stretching") scene that ends after the third line break.**

* * *

The one problem about living with Roy, rooming with Al in the "guest" room that they had taken over?

Zero privacy.

And so Ed was forced to go about his new assignment of stretching himself in the shower. He turned on the water, rather unembarrassed now that he was alone—the idea wasn't nearly as dreadful to think about as when he was around everyone else…almost eagerly, Edward stepped into the flow.

He washed up quickly, running impatient hands through his hair, and as soon as he was done, Ed lowered himself onto all fours. Really, the only strange thing about this was that he was _starting_ with his ass…

Edward reached back, leaning forward to allow his hand access, and—using the water as a lubricant—pushed the first finger in. It wasn't at all uncomfortable; Ed had long since become accustomed to this sort of feeling, and hummed in appreciation.

He wasn't really surprised to feel himself hardening. However, it began to become more difficult (second finger now) to think of this as a medical exercise and not just another session of jerking off.

Oh well. Really, what did it matter?

A minute later and Edward pushed his third finger in, grabbing himself as he did so. This intrusion, while again not anything new, was accompanied by a tiny spark of pain. Still, everything felt _good_, and Ed had let out a rather loud moan before he could stop himself.

* * *

Roy's head snapped up in the middle of making breakfast. Over the undercutting sound of running water coming from the bathroom, he swore he had heard…

"Uhm…was that a moan?" Alphonse asked, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Well," Roy sighed by way of answer, "at least we know he's doing what the doctor asked."

Unfortunately, Roy found it rather hard to continue with his previous task. He knew it shouldn't, but that one sound had sent a rather pleasant jolt through him, and he found himself rather disappointed when no further noises followed.

* * *

Edward quickly bit down on his lip. Oops. He'd have to be careful not to do that again; he could only hope they hadn't heard him outside…

To distract himself from this disquieting thought, Ed spread his fingers. He wanted to gasp, but simply bit down harder. He was allowed to feel good, just _no more noises_.

Also, he should probably finish up soon—his showers were usually short…

Redoubling his efforts, Edward made sure to focus on his rear end, pumping his fingers faster and faster—

Ed almost bit through his bottom lip, trying to stifle a cry as he finished. Finally he allowed his mouth to fall open, panting lightly. He removed his fingers and stood up, just a little shaky, to turn the water off after all evidence had been washed away.

* * *

Roy couldn't help but eye the boy as he walked into the kitchen, sitting down in front of a plate of eggs. Ed's hair was still wet, and Roy was nearly certain he saw bite marks on the blonde's lower lip…from trying to be quiet, maybe?

Oh, this wasn't helping him stop thinking about what probably went down in the shower at _all_.

The worst part was, Roy didn't know _why_ he kept thinking about it. The mental picture of Edward splayed out, fingers—he shook his head, and received a questioning glance, which he ignored. This should not be arousing, but…it _was_.

It had been one thing when he was just thinking that the (pregnant!) boy was adorable, but this was on another level entirely.

Just what was happening to him?

* * *

Work, as had been the case lately, was boring for Ed. The paperwork—some of it Roy's that Edward had taken over in exchange for the man completing his missions—was endless. Read this, sign this (or, forge Roy's signature, an event that, while exciting at first, had become dull as well), over and over.

But every time Ed almost dozed off he reminded himself that this was what he had to do if he was going to stay at work and still keep his baby safe. That thought always seemed to sober him up.

Still, be there a reason or not, Edward _had_ to get up and walk around sometimes to stop himself from going stir crazy. He did so then, intending to take a few laps around the building, when a wave of dizziness hit him. Ed had to grab the side of his desk for support, and all he could do was hope he didn't fall…

"Ed!" Fuck. That was Hawkeye. She rushed over, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to keep him steady. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he muttered, hoping to diffuse the situation. "Just a little dizzy is all."

This didn't stop the woman form looking worried, and Edward spied a few more pairs of curious, concerned eyes. No, no, he didn't want any attention… "It's all good. I think I'm just tired—I'm going to go take a walk, try to wake up a little…" And with that, he made his hasty exit.

Ed debated, as he wandered around, whether the dizziness was from his pregnancy or just sickness. He quickly dismissed the latter idea—actually, he couldn't remember having even a little cold since he got pregnant…hmm…

"Ed! Wait up!"

Edward turned, surprised to hear Roy's voice behind him. "Hey…?"

The man came up alongside him, getting straight to the point. "What was that back there?"

"Just a little dizzy spell, I'm fine."

Roy shook his head. "I mean running off like that."

Sighing, Edward answered. "I just…don't want to attract any more attention than necessary. I don't want any questions…"

"Ed, do you know how unlikely it is that they'd connect _dizziness_ to _pregnancy_? You could abandon all this cloak and dagger bullshit if you just—"

"Told them, I _know_," Edward finished impatiently. "And I also know you're going to tell me they'll be fine with it. But that's easy for you to say—what if they _aren't_, Roy? What if I finally tell them and—and everyone thinks I'm a freak?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want that to happen…"

* * *

Roy debated how best to respond to this; it was a constant worry the boy seemed to have, and apparently his usual reassurances just weren't enough. Fine, then. "I've told you a million times, they won't think that…and if they do, I'll just have to beat some sense into them."

Aha! That brought a faint smile to Ed's face, along with…maybe just a hint of redness in his cheeks? Roy tried to keep the rushing feeling of accomplishment from showing on his face as the blonde responded. "Aren't you being a little over protective?"

Probably. But Roy seemed less and less in control of himself when it came to Edward lately, and didn't know how to begin fighting it, so…why bother? "Maybe a little. But I like you pregnant. Makes you a little less feisty."

The boy scowled, and Roy chuckled. "I'll show you feisty," Ed muttered darkly.

They were coming back up on the office—Roy's door was just a few feet away. If it weren't for that fact, he probably would never have said what he did next. "Maybe some other time." What was that tone of voice—a little too deep, too throaty to be teasing? What was this giddy feeling when Edward well and truly blushed this time?

Roy didn't stick around to find out, ducking into his office before the blonde could respond.

* * *

**Focused a little more on Roy this chapter~**

**Also I drew a (lovely, in my opinion) little picture of a pregnant Ed...if you click on my deviantart account (linked on my profile) you can go check it out! :***


	12. Chapter 12

Roy quite liked Ed's baby bump, which had become just barely noticeable, even when under a shirt. He didn't know _why_—nothing about that boy made sense lately. Honestly, Roy couldn't stay away from him, and…well, while the attraction was a little frightening, it just kept _growing_, and he didn't seem to be able to stop it. So Roy just kind of went with it.

Point being: that little bump on the blonde's tummy was one of the cutest fucking things Roy had ever seen. So when Edward freaked out about it, and declared that he was going to have to wear baggier clothing…

Well, that was a little upsetting. But at least Roy still got to see Ed running around shirtless while they were at home. And at least the boy still wore those tight pants…

Still, he mused, settling into his office chair, it would be nice if Edward would just be brave and tell everyone, instead of trying to hide it…

Roy had barely sat down before his phone rang, a violent shriek cutting through the air. He sighed, picking it up; already his peaceful morning was ruined…

It only took one sentence to come across the line before his morning got worse, and the blood drained from Roy's face.

* * *

Edward, if anything, felt more conspicuous than ever in his baggy, tunic-esque shirt. Sure, it hid his bump nicely, but…it was change, and he felt like change was bound to draw attention.

Oh well. Nothing he could do about it.

He hadn't been at work long before Roy's voice rang out across the office, calling for him. Alarm bells went off in Ed's head. Roy _never_ shouted like that, he always had someone deliver the summons for him, and that tone…gulping, Edward stood up and hurried to the man's office and through the open door.

Roy's pale face and nervous, fidgety hands (that, every once in a while, emitted a spark or a bit of smoke due to his gloves) scared Ed all the more. "What? What is it?"

"I—I have to start with an apology, Ed. I'm sorry."

Oh, this did not bode well. Roy wasn't one to hand out apologies easily.

"Upper management called," the man continued, not meeting Edward's eyes. "They noticed you weren't really going on any missions. After they got your signature on one of my papers—you must have signed your own name by accident—they started investigating, realized I'd been going for you, and that you've been living in my house instead of returning to the barracks like you were supposed to."

As Roy spoke, a dread bubbled up inside Ed. This was the end, wasn't it? He knew what was coming next.

"I had to tell them," Roy whispered.

Edward couldn't help the panicked tone, the faint prickling in his eyes as he responded. "This is the end, then, right? I have to move out. Everyone's going to know. They're going to make me go on missions, aren't they?" And at that thought, the hysteria rose, and Ed found himself getting louder, tears flowing over his lids. "If I go on missions, my baby—my baby will _die_! There's no way I can keep myself protected, especially when I'm bigger—oh _fuck_ that's what they want, isn't it, they know what happened with the transmutation and want to kill my baby—"

Roy placed one hand over his mouth and one hand on his shoulder. "Edward, please, calm down—they aren't going to kill your baby!"

Ed found it just a little easier to breathe. At least the worst wouldn't happen. Roy went on. "They aren't even kicking you out of my house—after I explained the situation, they decided to allow it. Of course, they don't want you forging my signatures, but I won't have to give you missions or anything. It's all okay. I just had to tell you that I told _them_ about your pregnancy. That's all."

Still slightly hysterical, Edward started laughing with relief, pulling Roy's hand off his face. "You scared the shit out of me," he stated weakly. "Why couldn't you just say everything was okay? You had to call me in here, looking like death…"

* * *

That was a little harsh, but Roy supposed he had looked a bit more nervous than was probably appropriate. He let out a short, huffing breath, smiling and shaking his head before hugging Ed gently. "I thought you'd be more upset, is all. I didn't want you to feel like I betrayed you or something, when I couldn't do anything _but_ tell them."

"In comparison to what could have happened, that's pretty minor. I think I can forgive you."

"Good." And because Roy was Roy, and enticing comments were something he excelled at, he couldn't stop what came out next. "Because I don't know how I could handle you being that angry with me."

The funny part was, while he had used similar lines on women before, this time it was actually true. Roy didn't have time to contemplate this, however, as the boy he was holding finally backed away, looking at him strangely. As luck would have it, it wasn't a distressed stare, just a curious one.

Roy could live with that.

"I should get back to work, shouldn't I?" Edward asked. Almost like he wished the answer was no.

Hmm, his thoughts should not be going in that direction. "Probably. We don't want to make anyone mad around here—they might decide to be a bit harsher on you with this pregnancy thing."

The blonde nodded and, without another word, walked out the door.

Edward took a shaky breath, closing Roy's office door behind him. He couldn't handle this whirlwind of emotions. First he's sad, then he's terrified, then Roy explains and he's okay, and then he gets a little teasing statement like that and his heart has to go wild.

He placed a hand on his stomach unthinkingly, an action that had a calming effect on him, until…

"Damn," Havoc snickered, eyeing the small bump that, with his hand on it, was a lot more obvious. "I was wondering why you'd worn such a loose shirt. You putting on some weight?"

Ed's eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed dangerously. Blame it on the previous emotional rollercoaster, or on pregnancy hormones, or whatever—he punched Havoc hard in the arm.

"Shit!" the man yelled. "Fucking hell, I'm sorry, okay, I won't say anything…"

As soon as his fist connected, Edward felt guilty, and he groaned at what he had just done. He was a regular menace, wasn't he?

"I'm so sorry!" he repeated over and over. "I don't know what came over me, I didn't mean to do that…"

Eventually Havoc stopped rubbing his arm. "It's cool, I guess, just…remind me not to piss you off again anytime soon!"

Slouching in embarrassment, Edward scurried back to his own desk and sighed, placing his head in his hands. The day had just begun, and already so much shit had gone down. He was going to have a headache by the time he got home.


	13. Chapter 13

Edward sighed, content, splayed out across the couch. Off days were just so…relaxing. Actually, everything seemed pretty calm lately; so long as he wasn't being pressured by the fact that he was still hiding his pregnancy from everyone, Ed was constantly…peaceful. It wasn't a word that he got to apply to himself often, but it was true. He was just…always happy.

Smiling softly, he brought a hand to rest on his stomach, which had become rather obvious as Ed neared the end of month five. Rubbing absentmindedly, Edward reminded himself that it didn't matter right then; he was safe at home. Al was out (not that he would have been embarrassed by Alphonse seeing), and so it was just Roy with him. And of course, the man had seen his growing baby bump plenty of times.

He sipped at his drink, only to make a face. Water, tasteless on the best of days, just wasn't what he wanted right then. Actually, what he wanted was…

No. He couldn't even think it. Ed knew he was supposed to have cravings, but this was ridiculous. No one should have cravings that…insane.

As luck would have it, Roy walked in just then. The man laughed at Edward's expression. "What's that look for?"

"I don't want water," Ed pouted.

"Well then, what? I have some juice, some lemonade, I think, some hot chocolate—though it's a little warm for that…"

"No," Edward sighed. "None of that sounds good."

Roy rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. "Then what does? C'mon now, I know you're supposed to have cravings, it can't be that bad…"

A tense pause. "Milk," Ed finally admitted, half spitting the word.

"Are you serious?" Roy asked, snorting lightly. "You _hate_ milk."

"I know!" Edward snapped. "Just…ugh. Yes. I want some milk. Fucking cravings."

"It kind of makes sense…after all, you never drink milk, but the baby doesn't care. It just wants the calcium." The man, still laughing, disappeared back into the kitchen to get the requested drink.

Ed settled himself back against the couch cushions, immediately bouncing back into an upright position as his back connected. No—now he was hot. He scowled, and stripped off his shirt. Much better.

Fanning himself with the material, he once again brought a hand to his baby bump, rubbing gently and humming a pointless tune—

Edward stopped fanning and looked at his stomach. No way…he couldn't have just—

There it was again! Not a kick or anything so sharp, but a vague little pushing, a fluttering feeling, both inside him and against his hand. Ed could hardly breathe, he was so excited. _His baby was moving_!

"Roy!" Edward called out eagerly, a smile growing on his face as he continued to focus on the tiny feelings inside of him. "Roy, come quickly!"

The man came barreling into the room—oops. Evidently he thought something was wrong. "What? Is everything okay!?"

Still grinning, still rubbing his stomach, Ed looked up at him. "My baby's _moving_!" he announced.

Immediately, Roy dropped to his knees in front of Edward, looking at his bump for a moment before touching Ed lightly. Giggling—he couldn't help it—he pressed his hand against Roy's, urging the man not to hesitate. He was never going to feel something so slight if he was so hesitant. The man jumped a little, smiling in shock when he felt a movement, and then pressed his cheek against Edward's stomach.

Ed blushed, but didn't make a move to stop him. It wasn't like he minded Roy being so close…to be honest, having the man so thrilled about his baby made his heart skip a beat.

Placing his hand next to Roy's face, he focused in once more on his baby moving around, ever so gently inside him.

Roy couldn't believe what he was feeling. He hadn't thought before pressing his cheek to Ed's stomach, and now…now he could feel the almost unnoticeable shift of the baby moving. It was incredible; of course, he _knew_ the boy was pregnant, but still…this impossible proof was something else.

He could have sat there all day, just resting on the blonde's bump like a pillow.

But something in Edward's breathing (which, he realized, he could also feel) made him remove his face, keeping a hand on the boy's stomach, to look up at Ed.

And the sight nearly took Roy's breath away.

The blonde was positively beaming, looking as though his cheeks might burst. Eyes bright, locked onto his stomach, where his hand rested so close to Roy's own. It was true, what they said about pregnant women (or in this case, a boy); Edward _glowed_, seemed to radiate light and happiness, and he didn't seem to have a problem pulling Roy in.

But what really got him were the tears, the slight shaking that came with the onslaught of a happy crying jag. Fat tears, gathering at the corner's of Ed's eyes and trailing down lightly tinged pink cheeks…

Every single questionable thought Roy had had in the past several months clicked together. The boy was adorable, so caring, so strong, and being pregnant had somehow managed to bring out the best in him. _Of course_ Roy was attracted to him. Really, wasn't it stranger that no one else realized these things about Ed?

It all made sense, all the times he had dreampt about the blonde "stretching" himself, every time he had wanted to hug the boy, the warm feeling he got when he did, the desire to make him realize that everything would be okay…the need to make him smile…

Oh, Roy _loved_ Edward.

And so he couldn't help what he did next. Staring at Ed staring at his stomach, Roy pushed himself up, careful to avoid putting weight on the boy's baby bump. Further, further, and Ed still was too enraptured to notice, until…

Their lips connected.

* * *

**I have been waiting to write this chapter for forever. Very exciting (and also quite possibly the most sappy, dramatic kiss I have ever written, and that's saying something). Hope you guys like it!**


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNING: this isn't a lemon exactly, but the chapter does get a little *cough* intense *cough* towards the end.**

* * *

It took Edward a moment to register what was happening. As soon as reality set in—Roy was _kissing_ him—his heart jumped a little and joy spread through him. This was literally something out of a dream; for how long had he desired the man? And now…

Before Ed had the chance to kiss back, Roy was retreating. The man looked a little surprised at himself. "I'm sorry," he murmured, a shock of color rising to his cheeks as he averted his eyes. "I…"

But Edward was already shaking his head. He pulled Roy back up to his face, kissing him again. "Don't be sorry!" he laughed as the broke apart again. "You just made my day—more than that!" Ed laughed again, cheeks sore from the smile he wore. "I love you!"

The ma's eyebrows shot up before a grin wiped the shock off his face. Edward found his lips captured once again, their twin smiles making it just a little awkward. Not that he cared. Roy finally let up, allowing room for breath, and responded quietly. "I love you too…but…"

Immediate worry. Ed's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"What about the father?" Roy asked, brows furrowed slightly.

The question slammed into Edward, knocking his breath away. He had to tell Roy. Had to tell him that he snuck into his room, jacked off to him, and…stole his sperm. In his head, he tried to slow his racing thoughts long enough to make that sound a little better, but it just wasn't possible.

What was Ed supposed to do? If he told Roy now…just when the man confessed his _love_ (even upset, Edward's heart thumped at being able to think that and have it be true)…he'd be beyond angry. Roy might decide he'd spoken too soon. He might kick Ed out, never want to see him again…

But no, if the man really loved him, he wouldn't go that far. But Roy would certainly be angry, and…another thought came to Ed. Again, provided Roy loved him…he would probably be acting as the father to his baby anyway. Would it really matter if the man knew he was _biologically_ the baby's father?

Edward knew he was probably being ridiculous, but he just couldn't bring himself to admit to what he had done. He didn't regret it, exactly, but…it was definitely something that would be better to forget.

So he just shook his head, and brought Roy in for another kiss.

The man didn't seem to mind, deepening the kiss and biting his lip gently. Ed gasped, once more thoroughly caught up in the moment, and dug his hands into Roy's shoulders.

And just like that, the man backed off. Edward was about to protest, when Roy sat himself on the couch and patted his lap invitingly.

Heart pounding, Ed crawled forward eagerly, scooting close so that as much of him was pressed up against Roy as possible with his baby bump in the way. He kissed the man again, shivering when he felt warm hands against his bare back.

Edward let his own hands wander, rubbing Roy's chest through his rather thin off day shirt, humming in appreciation. At that moment, the man's lips left his in favor of his neck, and Ed bit down on a moan.

"Hey, none of that," Roy murmured. "You're not in the shower stretching yourself, you can be as loud as you want."

Blushing to the roots of his blonde hair, Ed found himself stuttering. "Y-you heard that?"

The man chuckled lightly. "You say it as if it was only once. You're _really_ bad at containing yourself."

Embarrassed now, Edward nevertheless found himself listening to Roy and whimpered as the man again began attacking his neck. It wasn't much, and it probably shouldn't have been having the effect it was on Ed, but despite that logic he found himself stiffening.

And that was a hard thing to hide from someone you're sitting on. Roy laughed again, separating for long enough to strip his shirt off and toss it on the floor. He leaned forward once more, hands on Ed's chest, and murmured simply, "You're getting hard…"

Huffing, Edward thrust his hips gently, angling them downwards so that he rubbed against the man. Roy hissed, and he grinned in victory. "I'm not the only one, hmm?"

Roy growled softly and placed his hands on Ed's hips. "Off," he demanded.

Confused, Edward stood, only to have his pants yanked down. He yelped, flushing, as his hard on was revealed. Roy, grinning deviously, discarded the rest of his clothes as well and tugged Ed back down onto his lap.

Edward was unable to bite back a moan as they ground up against each other. Anything he'd done to himself paled in comparison to how good he felt right now. "Roy," he whimpered, "m—"

A sharp, terrified squeal interrupted him. Ed turned around to see Al standing there, red faced, hand covering his eyes. Oops.

"Uhm," Alphonse whispered shakily. "I'll…just leave you two alone then."

And without another word, Al bolted right back out the front door.

"Hmm," Roy mused. "I forgot about him coming home…"

As sorry as Ed was that his brother had to see that—and, yeah, it was ever so slightly mortifying too—such a meager interruption couldn't do anything against his lust-filled brain. He'd apologize to Al later—in the meantime, he'd left, and Edward was once again alone and very, very naked with Roy.

He bent down and whispered into the man's ear, delighted with the shiver he received in response. "Roy…the doctor wanted me to practice stretching, you know. And I've gotten to the point where I need some help…my fingers just aren't big enough anymore…"

Wordlessly, the man shifted, pinning Ed down. Edward spared a moment to notice that Roy was careful of his baby bump. The man pressed three fingers to Ed's mouth, and he took them in eagerly.

While he was so occupied, Edward's eyes ran down Roy's body, stopping at his crotch. Though it wasn't his first time seeing it (not that Roy knew that), it was the first time he saw the man's package clearly, and Ed had to admit he was impressed.

Roy followed his gaze. "Think it's big enough for you?"

Shuddering at the words, Ed let the man's fingers go with a pop. He found himself unable to force his suddenly dry mouth to form words, and instead settled for nodding.

And Roy got right to it.


	15. Chapter 15

Edward found himself biting his lip as he walked into work. He couldn't help it; he was nervous, as he had been for the past few weeks. Though Ed still wore baggy clothing, there was nothing he could do at this point to stop his (still growing) baby bump from showing.

It wasn't that he was ashamed, it was just…the team was going to notice eventually. How would they react?

Edward felt a nudge from behind him. He turned around…Roy. Smiling now, Ed cocked his head to the side in a silent question.

"You need to tell them," Roy murmured, almost silent. "You've been falling to pieces for a while now, just get it over with. Besides, you're going to hurt your lips, and I like them the way they are."

A little pink from the compliment, Edward hissed, "I can't!"

"Yes, you can." Turning, Edward saw Alphonse walking up behind them—if he had heard Roy's earlier comment, he didn't show it, for which Ed was grateful. Him walking in on them had been bad enough. "It's going to be okay, Brother. You've got this."

"He's right," Roy agreed. Ed jumped at the sudden rise in volume. They stood right in the middle of the office, now, and everyone could hear the man, thanks to him half-shouting. "That's an order, Fullmetal."

Glancing nervously at the eyes watching him, Edward gave in. After all, if he didn't tell the curious team now, he'd have to make something up, and that would be pointless…he sighed. "Guys? I, um, have something I need to tell you…"

Everyone leaned in his direction expectantly, though they (thankfully) stayed in their seats. Ed swallowed, and, at another nudge from Roy, began. "About six months ago now, I, um…was caught up in a transmutation. And I'm perfectly fine, just a little…changed?" A deep breath—Al placed his hand comfortingly on Ed's shoulder. "And because of what the transmutation did to me, and, erm, later events, I ended up…pregnant."

Edward would have predicted at least a gasp from everyone present, maybe laughter from Havoc (who would probably think he was joking)…but the room was silent. Everyone sat, openmouthed, just watching him. Just as Ed began to panic—

"Damn." This from Breda, and it seemed to break the spell. Everyone stood up and gathered around him, reaching out to touch his stomach and talking all at once.

"That explains the bump, I was wondering—"

"Who's the daddy, then?"

"How in the hell, this is insane—"

"I didn't even know you were gay—"

"Guys, guys, give him room!" Edward could have hugged Roy, desperately needing to breathe, but they weren't precisely open about their relationship and Ed didn't want to deal with any more reactions today.

"It's really true?" Havoc asked. "You're actually…pregnant?"

"Yeah, it's true."

"Why didn't you _tell_ us?" Fuery wondered.

"Well, to be honest, I was…I was scared, alright?" Edward hated to admit that, but what else was he supposed to call it? "It's not exactly normal, and I didn't know how you guys would react. I didn't want you to think I'm a—a _freak_."

Hawkeye rolled her eyes. "If you weren't carrying a passenger, I'd think about shooting you, Edward Elric."

"She's right," Falman piped up. "You're still a member of the team, of course you're not a freak. Although, I have to admit, the whole situation is a little freak_ish_. But we're not going to turn our backs on you."

Beaming now, Edward looked around. "Thanks, guys. That—that really means a lot."

"We _told_ you it would be fine!" Alphonse laughed, slapping the back of his head gently.

"So, hang on," Havoc said, "Al obviously knew, I get that, but the _Colonel_?"

Edward shrugged, hoping he looked suitably innocent. "I was staying at his house because of the whole thing with the barracks, I couldn't exactly hide it."

Fuery piped up, in a welcome and unintentional distraction from any further inquiries. "Can I…?" Fuery hesitated to finish his question, but Ed knew what he wanted.

"Go ahead!" he answered, chuckling. Immediately everyone's hands were on him again, rubbing at his bump. This time, Edward didn't mind; he had no reason to be afraid now. Everything was alright.

"I felt it move!" Havoc gasped, his cigarette falling from his mouth, and of course that only increased the hustle and bustle.

"When's the baby due?" Falman asked.

Edward counted quickly in his head. "Well, like I said, I'm at six months now, so…sometime in mid-August."

"What are you going to name it?" Breda's eyes were still glued to Ed's bump; it was funny to see how awed the man was.

"I don't know," Edward mused. "If it's a boy, I was thinking about naming it after Al…"

"Oh, Brother!" Alphonse squealed, hugging him.

"What about if it's a girl?"

"Ooh, how about Andrea?" Havoc interrupted.

"No, Bridgette is cuter—" Furey argued.

Suddenly, Edward found himself being bombarded by baby names. He didn't know whether to be alarmed or amused by the team's sudden fervor.

"Maybe Erika?"

"I like Gabrielle—"

"Sabrina!"

"Julia?"

"No, no," Ed tried to address every name. "No, those just…don't sound right. I want it simple, but…?"

"Alice."

Edward turned around to look at Roy. "What?"

"I said, 'Alice.' That's a good name; simple, but elegant."

Ed heard Havoc and Breda stifling laughter behind him, probably because it was hard to imagine Roy of all people being so thoughtful about something like this (unless you'd lived with the man the past six months and seen how into this baby thing he was, like Edward had). But Ed ignored their chuckles, instead feeling out the name. "Alice."

A sudden welling of emotion brought him up short. Roy was right, that was a beautiful name. Perfect. It was just, to have _Roy_ come up with exactly the name Edward had been looking for…when the man was the father and didn't even know it…something about the situation was terribly adorable, and he had to fight back tears.

Fucking hormones.

"I think I like that. Alice." Al grinned as he said it. "Yeah, that's a good one."

Edward smiled hugely, staring up at Roy for a heartbeat longer. "I guess it's decided then. If it's a boy, I'll name my baby Alphonse—" Ed poked his brother in the ribs. "And if it's a girl, I'll name her Alice."

Roy winked at him, and then turned to the rest of the team. "Alright, now, I know this is exciting and all, but if Ed can come to work like this, you all can do your jobs too."

There was a little grumbling, but everyone sat down, in a noticeably better mood than before. There was something about babies—especially the miraculous kind growing inside young boys—that made everyone happy.

Edward, meanwhile, went to his work more than a little distracted. He'd thought choosing a name would be hard, but now he had everything settled regardless of the gender.

Rubbing his stomach, Ed smiled. As much as he loved his brother, and as much as Al would love having a baby named after him…he was kind of hoping for an Alice.

* * *

**Everyone should write an mpreg at least once, just to name the kid. Honestly, this is the one thing that kills me ****_reading_**** mpregs: the name. **

**So I apologize if you don't think the name Alice is suitable XD Hopefully you can still enjoy the fic. I just like it because it's simple (really complicated names don't fit a couple whose names are Edward and Roy, if you ask me, the parents' names are just too plain to merit a baby named Amethyst or something). So..yes.**

**Hope you enjoy~**


	16. Chapter 16

**No lemon, just some *cough* interesting discussion at the end of the chapter. Thought I should warn y'all anyway.**

* * *

"Ohh," Edward moaned as he walked into the living room, bending to stretch his back. Roy glanced up from his place reading on the couch, but didn't move. Hmm.

Trying again, Ed winced audibly as he walked in front of the man before sitting next to him, rubbing his back obviously.

Success. "Oh, alright, I'll bite. What is it?" Roy sighed good-naturedly.

"My back hurts," Edward whined. "I'm not used to all this extra weight…" With that, he patted his bulging stomach affectionately.

Roy grinned widely. "How about I give you a massage?"

"Yay!" Clapping his hands together, Ed jumped up and plopped right back down on the sofa, this time with his bare back facing Roy. He felt warm hands press against his lower back and smiled when the man leaned in, resting his head on Edward's shoulder.

"You planned that, didn't you?"

Ed nodded unabashedly; after all, it wasn't like Roy was mean enough to stop now that he had started. "To be fair, my back _is_ hurting. I just thought a massage from you sounded nicer than stretching the ache out on my own."

The man chuckled, and Edward leaned back onto the hands behind him. They moved slowly, thumbs rubbing in small circles, moving up his back and down again. Ed found himself sighing and humming. "You're good at this," he murmured.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am rather good with my hands," Roy teased, stopping for a moment to let his fingers slide forward and up Ed's front. Shivering, Edward was about to respond, when—

"Okay, one, you guys need to realize we have bedrooms, and two, you can't head that way anyway—Ted just called, he had a patient cancel, so he wants you to move your appointment up and come in now."

Ed twisted his head to see Alphonse standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Hey, Al."

His brother huffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't 'Hey, Al' me, you always do this right when I walk it, I don't want to see _that_…"Al shuddered, and Edward smiled a little guiltily remembering the time Alphonse really had walked in on them.

"It's just a massage," Roy chuckled, turning around as well.

Al snorted. "Don't think I can't see your hands, Roy."

Edward laughed as the man glanced guiltily at his hands, which were indeed dangerously close to Ed's pants. "Okay, okay, you win," Roy muttered, standing up. "Ed, go throw on a shirt."

It only took Edward a moment to dash back to Roy's room—where he had been sleeping lately—and grab a shirt before walking back to the living room. He kept going, right out the door that Roy was so graciously holding open for him, pausing when he didn't hear footsteps behind him. "You coming, Al?"

Alphonse made a face. "No, Ted warned me I might want to stay out of this one. Actually, he said the same for Roy, but I figured now that you two are—" Al waved his hand vaguely. "Anyway, I figure it doesn't matter at this point."

Laughing, Ed waved as he walked out the door.

* * *

The second Edward entered Ted's office, he was talking. "Still no bleeding, no cramps—apart from in my back aching a little, but you said that was normal enough—still growing, too, and I can feel my baby moving around every once in a while, though she still doesn't kick."

Ted simply laughed, nodding. "Good, good, that makes my job easier. But where did you get 'she' from?"

Ed shrugged. "I'm thinking a girl."

The doctor grinned simply. "You know, you're so…inspiring. I, for one, am constantly awed by the miracle of life, but you'd be surprised how many women come in here angry that they've become pregnant. It can be quite disheartening. But then I see you, a male who never should have been put in this situation, and of course you were scared at first, but—you're so happy, so attached to your baby…it's just a wonderful thing to see."

Hands automatically floating down to rest on his stomach, Edward smiled softly as he responded. "Thank you, but it's nothing, really. At least, it seems like nothing—I can't imagine _not_ loving my baby, not being happy with how everything turned out…"

"And the fact that it comes so easily to you is the best part," Ted murmured. A short silence filled the room, during which Roy rubbed gently at Ed's arm. "Well," the doctor continued after a moment. "You've already answered almost all my questions."

"Almost all?"

"Yes, I do have to tell you, it's about time you started stretching with something larger than your fingers. I can schedule time with a nurse a couple times a week, if you'd like…?

Surprised by the sudden turn in conversation topic, Ed blushed. "Oh, um, that won't be necessary. I've, er, already started having—having Roy 'help' me."

Ted, evidently getting the implication, laughed heartily. "I had a suspicion that might have happened," he chuckled.

Ed blinked. "How?"

By way of answer, the doctor simply pointed to Roy's arm, still around Edward's shoulders.

"Oops," Roy stage whispered. "Ed, I think I gave it away."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Anyway, yeah, a nurse won't be necessary."

"Excellent!" Ted announced, standing up to rifle through his desk. "In that case, since you've already started, I might as well give you this a little early…here!" He pulled out a white box, not massive but still rather large. The doctor handed it to Ed, who handled it a bit apprehensively.

Pulling up the corner and peeking in, Edward slammed the lid shut, face reddening. "Yes, sorry, sorry, I should have warned you," Ted apologized. "That was specially made—I had to make sure you used something sterile, and I had to specify the size I wanted. During the last month of your pregnancy, I'd like you to use that to stretch yourself out further. Don't use it before then, and not more often than once a week; I need you to be able to handle the delivery, but we don't want your muscles stretching out permanently, that can cause health issues. Oh, and after you use it, be sure to clean it before you do so again—"

Ed finally spluttered out a response "I—I'm supposed to—why did it have to be shaped like that!?"

Ted looked at him, surprised. "Well, I figured what with your orientation you wouldn't mind, and that's a natural shape for insertion—"

"So what is it?" Roy asked curiously. Edward held the box away from the man, flushing further as image after image of it in Roy's hands bombarded him.

But Ed's arms didn't reach quite far enough, and Roy snatched it from him, opening the box carelessly and pulling the object out: a long, absurdly thick, flesh colored…dildo.

Roy looked at the object he was holding silently for a moment. Edward jumped when the man started laughing—something about the sound. It wasn't, "Ha ha, funny," it was, "I'm going to torture you so hard with this later." Simultaneously terrified and aroused, Ed tried to keep his thoughts away from what Roy was probably already planning.

Ted coughed gently. "Anyway, yes, that should be good for the final stages of your stretching."

Edward nodded mutely.

"Is he alright?" the doctor asked, sounding worried. "I thought it would be useful, but…"

"Oh, he's fine," Roy answered, a strange light in his eyes. "But if you'll excuse us, I think I should be getting him home…" Ed allowed the man to pull him up and whisk him down the hall, checking only to make sure he had stowed the toy safely away in the box.

"Only during the last month!" Ted called after them.

"Yeah," Roy muttered under his breath. "'Only the last month,' my ass."

* * *

**Just accept it.**


	17. Chapter 17

**WARNING****: Lemon ahead, be careful what you read.**

* * *

Edward was torn between laughter and nervous anticipation as he watched Roy practically kick in the door to his own home.

Alphonse, seated on the sofa, jumped when they barged in. "Um—"

"No time, Al," Roy declared, pulling Ed's wrist to guide him to the bedroom. "Word of advice, though: stay far, far away from my room."

Edward smiled helplessly back at a disturbed Alphonse until he was pulled into Roy's room. Immediately he was turned and pushed back against the door—when had the man closed it?—and kissed forcefully. A thunk reverberated around as the box containing the new "toy" was allowed to fall to the ground.

"Mmfh—Roy," Ed mumbled around the man's lips. "Are you sure we should do this? Ted said only the last month…"

Roy left Edward's lips and licked up his jaw, before whispering in his ear, insistent. "You're seven months in, and it's just this once. I just can't get the picture of you taking all that in and still begging for more out of my head…" Ed shivered at that, hands fisting in the soft fabric of the man's shirt. "Besides, you can't tell me you don't want to try it…"

Honestly, Roy was right. After the shock of being presented with a dildo of all things, Edward had been rather intrigued. "Fine," he murmured, only to have his shirt roughly pulled over his head before lips crashed against his once more.

That was one good thing about Roy: he always wore button downs. That meant Ed could get the man naked and not have to stop kissing him.

Finishing with the last of the buttons, Edward ran his hands up Roy's chest, pressing in as close as he could with his baby bump in the way as he slipped the shirt off. He grabbed at the man's shoulder's—fuck, he loved those shoulders—as Roy squeezed at his ass through Ed's jeans.

Jeans that were getting tighter by the minute.

Edward whimpered as Roy moved down to his neck, desperately wanting to be able to grind up against the man. Roy, noticing his tiny movements, brought a hand around to Ed's front and began stroking him through the fabric. Edward let out a loud, involuntary moan.

Roy grinned against him and swiftly undid the button before pulling Ed's jeans down. The man then released him aside from one arm, guiding him to the bed. Edward climbed on it expectantly, watching with an ever-increasing hunger as Roy _teased_ his own pants off. Unable to bear it, he reached down and squeezed himself gently, whimpering.

With a sudden speed, Roy kicked off his jeans—no boxers, the man was fucking _going commando_—and climbed on top of Ed, careful (as always) of the bump. "That's my turn," he growled, replacing Edward's hand with his own.

That line almost finished Ed off, he was so turned on.

Again, the kissing, and Edward was rocking now, pushing against Roy's hand for more, more, _more_. But it was only when he let out a mumbled, "Please," that the man gave in and stripped off his boxers, the last of his clothing, and began to thrust gently against him.

Ed arched, groaning, hands digging into Roy's back. The man began to slowly lick his way down Edward's body, stopping to kiss his baby bump, and—_ohh_!

His hand flew up to cover his mouth. Ed bit down on his fingers, trying not to let out all the sounds that were fighting for escape. It felt so _good_, and though he couldn't _see_ Roy's head bobbing up and down, he sure as hell could _imagine _it…

With a pop, Roy came back up, panting and pressing his fingers against Ed's mouth. Edward took them in, electricity flowing through him as he imagined what was coming. In the meantime, he sat up and took Roy in his hand, not wanting to neglect the man, who let out a breathy moan.

Gently, Roy pulled his fingers free and scooted down. Edward propped himself up on his elbows, gasping when the man pushed the fist digit in. Almost instantly he was grinding down, so used to this that he just wanted more, ignoring that slight sting of being stretched. Roy, grinning, leaned forward to kiss him as he added a second finger.

Ed moaned, mouth opening to let Roy in. It was like a sensory overload, everything so good, almost _too_ good…

"Ahh!" he cried out as Roy pushed the third and final finger in. He arched, trembling, only mildly surprised when his arms gave out and he ended up flat on his back.

Edward blushed, hearing a gentle laughter. Roy leaned over him, kissing him gently. "You want to play with your new toy, or let me have a go first?"

"You," Ed panted. "Fuck me."

A low groan as the man fumbled in the bedside table for some lube. Upon finding it, he smothered himself and two seconds later Roy had granted his request. Edward arched, clenching up automatically. Breathing heavily, he counted to ten in his head, making an effort to relax. Finally, he exhaled a quiet, "Move."

And so Roy did, pushing slowly at first but building up speed. Just a few thrusts in and Ed's pain had all but disappeared. He was grinding downward, begging silently because he just couldn't form the words—this happened every time, his brain more or less on lockdown, his being pure _want_.

But then Roy pulled out.

"Wah?" Edward once again sat up a little, disappointed. "Why?"

"Your toy," Roy chuckled breathlessly.

"But you didn't get to finish…" Ed trailed off, confused as Roy grabbed the box and, throwing off the lid, grabbed the dildo.

The man snorted, and began to lube the toy up. "I'll be fine. Ready?"

Edward swallowed, trying to loosen up. Oh a whim, he rolled over and onto his knees, presenting Roy with a lovely view of his ass. "Yeah."

And then it was coming in and Ed couldn't think straight.

This thing was big, far larger than Roy. Tears pricked his eyes at the pain, but he refused to let them fall. It was going to get better, he just had to calm himself. Again, Edward counted, relaxing his muscles a little but with every exhale. "Okay," he finally whispered.

Roy pulled the dildo out, pushed it back in—

"Hoooly shit," Ed moaned, surprised. Oh, of course it hurt, but it was like _lightning_ flowing through his body. "Do that _again_…"

* * *

Roy snickered, and did as he was bid, pushing the toy into the boy in front of him just a little harder this time. He throbbed at the sound that came out of the blonde's mouth, and brought his spare hand down for some relief. On the third thrust, he groaned just as Ed cried out. Delicious.

Again and again he pushed the toy into the boy, pumping himself as he did so, gratified when Edward reached down between trembling thighs and began to do the same. He had to be close, which was good, because Roy himself was about to bust…

As if on cue, Ed whimpered, "Roy…I'm gonna—ah!"

"I know," Roy panted, leaning in. "Me too."

To be honest, he couldn't hold it back any more. Moving his hand faster and faster, Roy's hips jerked forward and—

* * *

—a warm liquid spurted across Edward's back. He moaned at the feeling, the picture that came to mind, and, unable to stop himself, finished as well.

As soon as Roy pulled the dildo out, Ed collapsed onto his side, panting heavily, not surprised when Roy joined him.

"So," the man asked, after they had both caught their breath. "How did you like your toy?"

Edward scooted a little closer, resting his head on Roy's outstretched arm. "It was nice," he admitted, his smile teasing. "But I think I like you better."

* * *

**You can't pretend you weren't expecting that after the last chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18

"Damn it, Alphonse, I _really_ don't think someone as pregnant as me should be walking around _blindfolded_," Edward complained after stumbling up yet another flight of stairs.

"Oh, hush up, Brother, you're done with the stairs, just—turn, there's a corner—that's it."

"I wish you'd just tell me," Ed grumbled, crossing his arms on top of his baby bump as Al finally pulled him to a stop. "Surprises are so…" His brother removed his blindfold and the last word came out as a barely-there whisper. "Overrated…"

He was stunned, plain and simple. The whole team stood underneath a big, pastel pink and blue banner that read "Congratulations," surrounded by gifts and a table full of snacks. A baby shower. They threw him a baby shower.

Everyone was silent, waiting for him to say something. "Th-thank you," he managed to choke out, overwhelmed with emotion, and the spell was broken as the team laughed at his stuttering response to their effort.

"Well, we couldn't let you have a baby without a baby shower," Fuery insisted, smiling.

At this point, Edward was just shaking his head. "I can't believe you all."

Just then, there was a shout behind him. "Coming through!"

Ed whipped around to see Roy pushing a large, covered cart down the hall and towards them. What the…?

Havoc laid a hand on Edward's shoulder, pointing at Roy. "Now, just to let you know, that was actually me and Breda. The Colonel saw it, and didn't trust us to not break it on the way up, so we stuck him with the job of getting it all the way up here. But yeah, all us."

Confused, Ed watched as the duo walked forward, ripping the sheet off dramatically to reveal…a crib. Plain and white, filled with tiny blankets and decorated with pink bows.

"The bows were this idiot's idea," Breda coughed, seeing Edward's raised eyebrow.

"They were not!" Havoc argued. "You snuck them on there!"

"Guys, guys!" Ed held up his hands, laughing. "It's okay, I'm hoping for a girl…that's adorable. Thank you, really."

Immediately Havoc and Breda stopped arguing, puffing out their chests importantly while Roy just sat back and watched, shaking his head.

"C'mon, Brother, open up the rest of your presents!"

Edward turned back around, smiling hugely, and attacked the pile.

First off was a large box containing an impressive variety of baby clothes, suitable for both genders, from Hawkeye. "You didn't have to do all this, really," Ed said, staring as he continued to pull more and more outfits from the box.

But the Lieutenant only laughed. "Don't worry, most of it's hand me downs from my niece."

Edward wasn't the only one who went silent at that—who knew Hawkeye had a niece?

"Here, Ed, open mine next!" Fuery was bursting with excitement, and when Ed opened his gift, he found a neat row of pacifiers.

"Aw, thanks man, I'm sure I'm going to need this!" Edward was joking, but he did have to wince a little thinking of how loud a baby with his lungs would be in the middle of the night. He looked towards the last gift—from Falman—but hesitated when he saw the man's face. "What?"

"Well, it's just, a little odd, I guess," Falman chuckled nervously. "Just open it."

Curious, Ed did so, laughing aloud when he saw baby bottles and formula.

"I figured you wouldn't be feeding the baby the, uh, natural way, so…"

Edward waved the poor man off, still giggling. "You're right, thanks!" Although, another thought just occurred to him. "You know, I have no idea where I'm going to put all this stuff…"

Ed hadn't given thought to where he was going to raise the baby. Of course, he was living at Roy's place, but the future was up in the air—after all, he couldn't just bring a baby into the house without asking—

"You can have my study," Roy responded casually, interrupting his musings. The rest of the team raised their eyebrows. "I never use it anyway."

Not really thinking, Edward stepped forward and hugged Roy in wordless gratitude. Of course, he'd been hoping for something similar, but to have the man actually offer was wonderful. He laughed, pulling away in embarrassment as he realized he just cuddle up to his superior in front of everyone, and was surprised when Roy pulled him back and kissed his head.

Silence ensued for a brief moment before Havoc started clapping. "Gotta hand it to you, Colonel, I never thought you'd be a daddy."

Eyes widening, Edward blushed to his roots. Roy let go, holding his hands in the air. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you've got it all wrong. I mean, yeah, we're together, but just recently!"

Even though he had never been in a more awkward situation, Ed took the time to realize he had never heard Roy so frazzled.

"Uh huh, yeah, sure—" Breda was interrupted by a loud crash of a door being thrown open.

"Roy-Boy, I always _knew_ you were going to get some woman pregnant!" A loud, boisterous female voice came from down the hall.

Edward snorted at the name, looking at Roy, who had gone pale. "Roy-Boy?"

The man didn't answer, instead addressing the woman who came around the corner. "Madame Christmas…what are you doing here?"

The woman grinned. "Well, I'm here to see what lady you knocked up, of course!"

Ed couldn't decide if he was offended or not, but decided to butt in—only Roy got there first. "Alright, first, it _wasn't me_, I just happen to be dating someone who's pregnant. And second of all, that would be Edward here."

He raised his eyebrows as this Madame Christmas woman as she scanned him up and down. "How the hell did _you_ get pregnant, sonny?"

"Long story," Ed muttered after a pause. "Who _are_ you anyway?"

Madame Christmas stood a little taller. "I'm Roy-Boy's foster mother—and his aunt, to boot. I was under the impression he was finally starting a family, and came to congratulate him."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Roy cut in again, still seeming a little frazzled, "but I'm not the father. I mean, if Ed let's me I'll be a sort of adoptive father, but…"

"Hmm…" Madame Christmas looked down at Edward again, snorting at his red face. "Well, is my Roy-Boy going to be your baby's daddy, then?"

Ignoring the snickers behind him, Ed stumbled over his answer—what was it with this woman? She was so imposing! "Um, well, yeah, if he wants to…"

"In that case, here; you can have this." She handed him a teddy bear, whose paw was secured to a tiny rattle. Suddenly, Madame Christmas seemed a lot less intimidating.

"Thank you!" Edward said, grinning at her. "I guess this makes you the baby's grandmother?"

The woman laughed. "Don't get too cocky, kid." She turned to Roy. "Now, I have some place to be—" here she winked almost imperceptibly "—just wanted to drop by. Be good to that boy, you hear?"

Not waiting for an answer, Madame Christmas walked off.

"What…the hell just happened?" Alphonse asked.

"I dunno," Havoc answered, "but with her for a grandmother, you for an uncle, Ed for a mom, and the Colonel for a dad, this baby's going to be pretty messed up."

* * *

**Pointless chapter is pointless. Why are my writing skills going away ;A;**

**Good news is we are at crunch time people. Hopefully the next chapter will be better *shame***


	19. Chapter 19

"You're sure he's not going to sneak back here?" Roy asked once again, glancing suspiciously at the closed door to what would soon be the baby's room.

"Positive," Alphonse answered, waving him off. "I gave him some chocolate and told him if he didn't come back here I'd take diaper duty for an entire month."

Roy snorted. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

Al shrugged helplessly. "I said a week at first, and he said that wasn't enough. What could I do?"

Laughing, Roy turned to the supplies scattered across what had previously been his study. The room was now stripped bare—time to get renovating.

He slipped one of several new pairs of gloves, each with a different transmutation circle sewn into them so that he could work with a little less hassle.

Then he and Alphonse got to work.

* * *

Edward groaned, sliding a little further off the couch until his head dangled, braid brushing the floor. They'd been in there for _hours_—really, their surprise couldn't take this long, could it? They were probably just messing with him or something. Still, he couldn't very well check on them; after all, not have to handle his baby's diapers for a month sounded pretty good.

Still, he _was_ awfully bored. It wouldn't be so bad if Al or Roy came out for a break every once in a while so he could _talk_ to someone.

Sighing, he shifted again, pulling himself back onto the couch. Ed placed a hand on his stomach, rubbing gently. "They're so mean, aren't they? Leaving us alone out here…" He was rewarded with a tiny flutter and a kick to his side. Edward grinned at the movement, still amazed after all these months that there really was a _baby_ inside him. "You're getting impatient, aren't you?" Another kick. "I know, I know, you want to come out. It's _got_ to be awfully cramped in there…"

Ed trailed off. As much as he wanted to have his baby and really be able to see her—he maintained that it was going to be a she—the prospect of _giving birth_ was absolutely terrifying. Even though he'd been doing his stretches faithfully (not that it was a tall order, he, ahem, rather enjoyed it), Edward still knew it was going to hurt like a bitch.

"Ah, well," he continued after a moment. "I'm sure I can handle it. It's August now, you know. My due date's only a few weeks away. You'll be out soon enough." Again, his baby kicked, as though she was eager. Edward smiled despite his nerves.

Abruptly, he stood up, looking down the hall. Roy and Al still weren't finished, and he'd finished the chocolate ages ago…Ed wandered into the kitchen, looking around and trying to decide what he wanted.

Cinnamon. Cinnamon sounded really good right about then.

Edward grabbed a bagel and a knife almost without looking; with as much as he'd been eating while pregnant, he'd become overly familiar with the layout of Roy's kitchen. He hummed tunelessly, spreading a thin layer of butter out on the bagels, then sprinkling a gratuitous amount of cinnamon over them.

Perfect.

Ed walked back towards the living room, fully intending to enjoy his treat, when he bumped into Al on the way in.

"Aw, Ed, that's so sweet!" Roy teased from behind his brother. "You made us a snack."

Edward only raised his eyebrows dangerously, silently asking if the man really wanted to try taking his food away from him. Roy only laughed, grabbing the plate. "Hey!" Ed protested.

"Calm down, we're done back there; I just want you to see. You can eat after that, I promise we won't take your food, Brother," Alphonse explained hastily.

"About time," Edward said, sticking his tongue out, irritation forgotten. "You guys were back there for _forever_."

Roy rolled his eyes, grabbing Ed's hand and pulling him along down the hallway. "You'll understand once you see. Alphonse, do you have the blindfold?"

There was no answer, but suddenly there was a strip of fabric obscuring Edward's vision. He huffed, but didn't say anything; he could handle a few moments of blindness.

A turn, and then he was stopped. "Okay, Al. Blindfold off."

Ed opened his eyes wide to see what the big deal was, and his breath came out in a tiny gasp.

Roy and Alphonse had turned the old study into the baby's room, just as was planned, but—it was _beautiful_. A plush, white carpet had been laid down, and the walls and ceiling were painted a delicate, pastel blue. Upon closer inspection, Edward spotted a yellow trip around the top, a garland of stars that perfectly matched the stars (glowing faintly in the fading light from outside) on the ceiling as well as those on the mobile above the crib, which had been placed in a corner. The opposite corner held a cushy looking chair and some drawers, which were doubtlessly filled with the clothes Hawkeye had given them. A third corner held a changing station and—oh, this was clever—a baby pink divider (that matched the bows on the crib) to hide it when necessary.

Edward didn't know what to say. It wasn't often he found himself speechless, but this…this was beyond amazing. Finally, he got a question out. "How did you…?"

"Alchemy," Roy answered, smiling while Alphonse giggled at Ed's stunned face. "It made the whole process a _lot_ faster."

"No kidding…"

"Do you like it, Brother?" Al asked expectantly.

"Of course I do," Edward breathed. "It's perfect, I—I don't—" Giving up on words, Ed took a step forward and hugged Alphonse tightly, before turning around and doing the same to Roy. "'Thank you' doesn't even begin to cover this."

"Glad you like it," Roy whispered in his ear, kissing his head lightly.

Ed turned (though he kept one of Roy's arms draped around his shoulder), looking around again. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and snorted. "You know, if there's one thing I'll be glad to get rid of, it's being so damn _emotional_." He shook his head. "You guys are going to be great, you know that? Al, you're going to be an awesome uncle, and Roy—" he gulped, focused on not flushing. This statement was just so much more true than anyone knew. "You're going to be the best dad ever."

The man pulled him in closer. "And you're going to be a wonderful mother," he answered nonchalantly.

Edward elbowed him in the ribs. "Shut up. I'm technically a father too."

"That's debatable, Brother," Alphonse snickered.

"Regardless," Roy interrupted before a fight could break out, "you'll be a good _parent_, Ed."

"I sure hope so…" Edward murmured.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I…" How was he supposed to say this? "I mean, first I have to get past the birth, which is going to be fucking terrifying. And then—what if I'm not cut out for parenting? I mean this was a little more than unplanned."

"You worry too much, Brother," Al answered. "Have you seen yourself lately? You're crazy about that baby."

"He's right, Ed; with that kind of love, you can't _not_ be a good parent," Roy added.

Grinning sheepishly, Edward gave in. "Oh, I'm sure I'm just nervous." He took a last, long look around, before his stomach growled. "Um, guys? Can I have my bagel now?"


	20. Chapter 20

The force of his stomach ache jerked Edward out of his sleep, teeth gritted. The cramping had him squeezing his eyes shut, holding his breath to try to ride it out without waking Roy, who was still asleep next to him. Thankfully, it soon ebbed, but Ed lay panting and confused. Sure, he'd had stomach aches before, but this…this was different, much more intense and painful.

And it kept coming back; the cramping had started when he went to bed, but it had gone almost as quickly as it had come, so Edward hadn't worried about it. But now he was feeling the same thing…

Maybe it was worse because he was lying down? Hadn't he heard at some point that certain positions could make stomach cramps worse?

Whatever. It was worth a shot.

Ed slid out of bed slowly, pausing whenever Roy's breathing changed. Soon enough he'd made it out from under the covers, and he tiptoed across the floor into the hallway. Once there, he allowed himself to walk normally, heading automatically in the direction of the kitchen.

Five minutes later, and Edward was sitting on the couch munching on a piece of toast. Now, more awake, he was almost embarrassed to have gotten up. Sure, it had hurt—but he felt perfectly fine now. Really, he could have just gone back to sleep…

The sofa was awfully comfortable. Ed sunk into it absentmindedly, eyelids drooping. He'd get up in a minute; with his cramping gone and his stomach nicely filled, he just didn't have the energy to move right then…

"Ah!" Again, just on the edge of sleep, Edward was pulled back into the waking world by that stupid pain in his abdomen. And it was _worse_ this time! Tears sprang up in his eyes and he hissed through his teeth. What _was_ this? Had he eaten something bad?

Was his baby okay?

This thought came just as the pain receded, and it brought Ed up short. He patted his bump fearfully, focusing, trying to feel something. And there! Just a tiny movement, but a movement nevertheless. He sighed, relieved, and then bit his lip. Whatever this was, it certainly didn't get better when he moved out to the couch—sitting up wasn't doing anything for him.

Edward stood up, slowly, just in case the movement would hurt, and made his way back to the bedroom. The lingering memory of the cramp made him less careful, and Roy huffed gently in his sleep as Ed climbed into bed, snuggling his way into the man's arms.

Heart thumping, he waited anxiously for another throb of pain—but none came. Edward realized he'd been clenching up, tense, and relaxed his muscles just as he got the oddest feeling…

"What the fuck?" he jerked up, momentarily forgetting Roy and causing the man to start, blinking at him. Ed couldn't pay attention to that though; all he could notice was the wetness spreading between his legs.

"Ed?" Roy asked, before his brows drew together in confusion. The man lifted up the blanket to reveal a dark wetness spreading out across the sheet.

The confusion didn't last long. Pale, Edward looked at Roy and breathed, "I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

The black eyes before him widened, and then the cover was tossed away as Roy stumbled out of bed. Ed heard him stumbling down the hall and followed cautiously, nerves making him tense up once more. By the time he reached the kitchen, Roy was already on the phone.

"Come on, come on, pick up…" the man murmured, bouncing nervously and pulling Edward to him. There was a pause, then: "Ted! Thank goodness, I know it's late, but—Ed's water just broke."

Roy listened for a moment, and then turned to Edward. "Does your stomach hurt? In little bursts?"

Oh, Ed was an _idiot_. He felt his face growing even paler, if that was possible. Unable to speak, he nodded mutely.

As if from far away, he heard Roy relay this message and then hang up the phone before bending down to look him in the eye. "Ed?"

Edward tried to focus, but he'd never been so scared before. He was going into fucking _labor_.

"Ed, come on, it's going to be okay. Here," Roy murmured, trying to soothe him as he guided Ed to the couch. "Just sit tight, I'm going to wake up Alphonse and throw on some clothes, and then we're going to meet Ted at the hospital. You're going to be alright."

It seemed like no time at all had passed before Roy was back, with Alphonse in tow, and they were piling into the car. It wasn't until then that Edward realized he was shaking.

"I can't do this," he whispered. "There's no way."

"Yes, you can, Brother," Al answered, rubbing his back. "Come on, you're the bravest person I know, if anyone can handle this it's you."

Edward was spared from having to answer by another contraction. He spotted Roy glancing in the rearview mirror. The man muttered to himself, so quietly Ed was sure he wasn't supposed to hear, "Why are they coming so fast?" He swore, after that, that they sped up just a little.

Everything was a blur as he was rushed into the hospital, shoved into a gown, and shown to a labor room. Nothing seemed to make sense until Ted showed up.

He was calm, probably because watching and aiding in this process was his job. Still, it was odd for Ed to be so worked up and have his doctor not worried at all. "You're a little early, Ed, but that's alright, you'll be fine. Now, make sure to breathe—you won't be giving birth right away, this is a bit of a process."

Roy jumped in. "His contractions are coming pretty close—how long would you say it's been, Ed?"

Edward took a deep breath, trying to relax himself a little. "The last two were a little over a half hour apart, I think."

This news seemed to concern the man, who turned back to Ted anxiously. "That's not normal, is it? Doesn't it usually take a while for the contractions to get that close?"

The doctor nodded slowly, musing. "If I had to guess, I'd say it's because the part of him that's still male has just about had it with the baby. Most of his body wants to get rid of it as soon as possible. It's just like how his morning sickness came very early on; everything seems to move faster with him. That might be why he's about a week early, too."

Just then, another contraction. Edward tried to take Ted's advice and breath, but that was easier said than done. He felt Roy's hand on his arm, helpless. Then it was over.

Ed looked at the doctor desperately, and Ted spoke. "Ed, I want you to lie on your side. If it hurts, we can change positions, but for now that might ease the pain a bit, and it should slow the birth a little bit. We can't have this baby coming out too early."

Nodding, Edward rolled over on the bed, curling up just slightly. Roy moved to sit in the chair beside his bed, but Ed motioned him up and the man sat beside him, running his fingers through his hair. Edward closed his eyes, breathing slowly and deeply.

Meanwhile, Ted kept talking, going through the procedure. "Now, I've set everything up so you can go ahead and have the baby in here. When the contractions get close enough, I'm going to have you try to squat—delivering a baby lying down is, realistically, not the best option even for women, and with you it's going to be even harder. Squatting will let gravity help you, and I'll be there to catch the baby, of course."

A second weight joined him on the bed as Alphonse sat on Ed's other side, another comforting presence. Edward opened his eyes and caught sight of Ted smiling at him reassuringly. "I'm going to leave you alone for a bit and go get the nurses—this baby's not going to wait for long, so we'll need them ready."

Ed nodded and watched as the doctor exited the room.

"It's going to be okay, Ed," Roy murmured. "You'll do fine."

"What if my baby gets stuck?" he asked, voicing his number one concern.

"Brother, I'm sure Ted has a backup plan in case that happens. He's looking out for you, you don't have to worry so much."

"What if I pass out?" Ed muttered petulantly.

"You won't," Roy said confidently. "Remember your automail? I hear you were awake the whole time for that. You can handle this."

Another contraction came, and Edward whimpered. They _were_ getting awfully close. He just wasn't prepared for this—but he didn't have a choice.

At that moment, Ted came back into the room, followed by two nurses. He was already talking. "Now, once you deliver, Ronda here will take the baby into the next room for cleanup, and bring it right back, so don't worry. While she's doing that, Melissa will be fixing you up—I hate to tell you this, but I expect some tears in your anal tissue, so she'll be treating those. How are we doing?"

"They're closer together," Ed answered, a little panicky.

Ted stepped closer, squatting to meet Edward's eyes where he lay. "Ed, let me tell you something. I've delivered countless babies, and I've never lost one. I won't lie, there have been complications, and a couple babies were stillborn, but I've never had a baby die during delivery. You're going to be just fine—if you can't handle a natural birth, my backup plan is to do a C-section. I'd prefer it not come to that, but one way or another, you're going to have your baby. Okay?"

Reassured, Ed nodded again and breathed in deeply.

* * *

An hour later, Edward thought he was going to die. The contractions were coming fast and furious now, and everything hurt. Even Ted had lost his carefree attitude, adopting a serious expression.

"Ed, I think it would be a good time for you to get in position now."

Edward got up, wincing and holding onto Roy for support. He looked around for something to hold onto, when the man whispered, "Don't worry, I've got you."

"Okay," Ed answered, panting. Using Roy for leverage, he squatted down where Ted directed.

It was, quite possibly, the most embarrassing moment of his life when the doctor got down on the floor and began inspecting his ass. "Very good, Ed, you're pelvis is opening up and your muscles seem to be loosening nicely. You're going to be fine—it won't be very long now."

Edward gasped as another contraction came, grunting and squeezing Roy's hands so hard it had to have hurt. Through tear-blurred vision, he spotted Alphonse pacing nervously.

Ted, still underneath him, whistled. "I lied—it's now, Ed. When the next contraction comes, push as hard as you possibly can. It should only be—"

Right then. Edward pushed, a scream coming out of him despite his best efforts as he felt himself being stretched to the max. This was too much, way too much—he kept pushing but didn't have the energy, it hurt so _bad_, how did women _handle_ this—

"Ed, come on, you're almost there, you have to _push_!" Ted shouted, hands positioned to catch his baby.

A panic gave him the strength to push again, past the pain. He had to get his baby out. Screaming once more, he pushed with another contraction, putting everything he had into it—

A second, shriller wail of a scream joined his.

Edward sagged, spent, tears running down his face. Roy lowered him down gently as Rhonda came in, snipping the cord and taking the baby.

Ted was ecstatic. "I knew you could do it! Very good, Ed, very good. Now, Roy—if you could just get him up on that table over there so Melissa can take care of him."

Ed winced as he felt familiar arms lift him up and carry him over to the indicated table. He could feel the blood dripping out of him, and his ass hurt like hell. Still, he managed a tiny smile. He had a baby.

Having the nurse, Melissa, messing around with his backside would have been more awkward if he wasn't so exhausted; he didn't have the energy to care, just kept looking up at Roy's face above him, which was happier than he could have imagined.

He wavered in and out of consciousness, only really becoming alert when Roy moved him again, back to the bed. Ed spoke for the first time, voice coming out raspy. "Don't I get to see my baby?"

Ted laughed, and waved Rhonda in. "Congratulations, Ed," he announced. "You've got yourself a little girl."

"Aw, congrats, Brother! I still wish it had been a boy…"

Edward grinned hugely, holding out his arms for the bundle Rhonda was carrying over. A girl! He knew it!

"What should I put down on the certificate for the name?" Ted asked.

"Alice…" Ed murmured, looking down at his baby. First: elation. This was beyond amazing—he'd never felt so attached to anything. He never wanted to let her go. But his second reaction was horror—because Alice didn't get her black peach fuzz from him. Nor those narrower, deep black eyes…

A muted exhale of shock sounded above him. Edward looked up to see Roy staring down at Alice, recognizing just a little too much of himself in her features. He tried to find something to say—but what could he say?

"And who should I put down as the caregiver in the unlikely event that you're indisposed, Ed?" Ted continued, not noticing the sudden chill in the room.

"Me," Roy answered, disbelief coloring his voice. "It's me, isn't it, Ed? I'm the father."

Ted turned around, wide eyed, and then apparently thought better of it, looking back at the papers he held. Alphonse could only gape, eyes darting between Edward and Roy and Alice.

"Yeah," Ed answered, not daring to look the man in the eye. "Yeah, you are. But—I mean—I can explain—"

But it was too late. Roy had stepped away from his bedside, shaking his head, and just kept moving backwards, turning only as he reached the door.

And walked out.

* * *

**Whoa. Big chapter. I thought about separating it, but I liked the flow, and besides, I wanted to get this out since some of you were guessing what was going to happen XD Shoutout to Paperflowers101 and the guest reviewer who saw that I was headed in the "baby looks like Roy" direction!**

**Don't worry. This isn't the end. **

**Hope you enjoy~**


	21. Chapter 21--End

Edward sighed into the quiet hospital room, looking down at his sleeping baby. "Born August 12," he murmured, "Alice May Mustang." After having to tell Roy he was the father, Ed had gone ahead and given Alice his last name. It didn't matter about hiding it at that point, and it was just something he wanted to do.

"I'm sorry, Alice," he whispered. "I really am."

"Why are you apologizing?"

Edward's head whipped up at the sound of Roy's voice—the man was standing in the doorway, eyes glued to their baby. Ed tried to speak calmly. "I don't know, I just…I messed everything up. She was the only one here to apologize to…" He gulped as Roy finally looked up, black eyes carefully emotionless. "I'm sorry, Roy."

The man exhaled heavily and walked to the far side of the room, pausing before turning around and striding to Ed's bedside. He gestured to Alice. "May I?"

Wordlessly, Edward handed her over. Angry as Roy might be with him, there was no way he'd hurt their baby. The man turned away again, choosing to sit in the chair furthest from Ed. He held Alice carefully, stroking her face with just one finger. "How?"

The word was spoken so softly it was almost inaudible. "What?" Edward asked, though he knew full well what Roy wanted to know.

"How?" the man repeated, louder this time. "How did you manage this? Getting pregnant by _me_ when we didn't—not that early, at least—"

This was the moment. Ed's one chance to explain himself and hopefully fix everything. The words just started spilling out of him, desperate. "It was an accident, I mean, you know I didn't know I could get pregnant! I'd just, I'd…I'd liked you for a really long time, and I woke up one night and walked out into the hall and I…" Edward paused, a flush rising to his face. Even now, after all they had done together, he found it terribly awkward to admit this to Roy. "I, well I heard you first. You were, um…"

"Just spit it out, Ed," the man demanded impatiently, his forehead scrunched up in concentration.

"You were having a wet dream, okay? I heard you moan, and looked in, and saw you, and I couldn't help myself…I had to go in…" The effort of forcing that out was enough to tire Edward out. He leaned back against the pillows before continuing hesitantly; this was where it got messy. "You finished before I did," he whispered, face aflame. "And I couldn't stop myself. Like I said, I didn't know it would _do_ anything…but I used your, um, _stuff_ as—as lube."

Roy snapped suddenly. Edward was glad to see he didn't have his gloves on. "_That's_ what it was!"

"What _what_ was?"

"I woke up one morning—now I know it was the morning after this adventure of yours—and there was jizz on my floor. I'd thought I somehow managed that, but…" Roy shook his head. "It was _you_. I should have known something was up."

Ed grimaced guiltily, unable to think of anything to say. The silence stretched on and on, before Roy finally broke it. "So you got yourself pregnant…by fingering yourself…using my jizz."

"Yeah," Edward whispered. It was so much more embarrassing in those short, simple terms.

The man before him just shook his head, once more directing his gaze towards Alice, who slept on. In one sudden, jerky motion, Roy had stood, and walked over to hand him their baby back. Ed took her, confused until Roy began to speak.

"I don't even care about what you _did_," he said through gritted teeth, angry now. "But—how could you not _tell_ me? Did you really think it didn't matter? Didn't think I deserved to know I was going to be a father?"

Edward shrunk back, holding Alice against him protectively. "I was going to," he muttered, looking away. "But I was _scared_, Roy. The idea of being pregnant was a little bit of a stretch to me, and by the time I had that all figured out, it seemed like no time was a good time to tell you. What was I supposed to say? Especially after we got together—I thought you'd leave me, and I was going to have to deal with that and a baby, and…I just figured you were going to be like her father _anyway_, and at that point I _didn't_ think I mattered. It was all the same in the end, only you wouldn't hate me…"

Roy placed a hand on his forehead, eyebrows drawn together. "But it _is_ different. Do you know how much I wondered, after, as you said, we got together? What if the father decided to come back and you fell back in love with _him_? But it was me all along!" The man laughed humorlessly, lowering his hand to point at the baby in Ed's arms. "That's my flesh and blood, Edward. Alice is just as much my baby as yours. You know, I would have loved her even if she'd been someone else's, but now—she's _ours_! And you weren't going to tell me! I should have been able to look at her in your arms and be a proud papa, not be shocked when she looked so much like me! For fuck's sake, she should have carried my _name_—"

"She does," Ed interjected quietly. "Alice May Mustang. I figured it would be okay, since the truth came out anyway."

Silence. "It shouldn't have had to be a question, Ed," Roy answered, voice suddenly tired. "That should have been a given. You…you didn't have to do this alone. I might have been angry at first, but…I would have been behind you."

The past tense was not lost on Edward, and it cut him deep. His breathing came hard, his voice rasping. "And now?"

But Roy was leaving _again_, shaking his head as he made his way to the door. "I love you, Ed. That hasb't changed. But I just can't deal with this right now."

Edward tried to breathe evenly as he watched Roy depart, only allowing a silent, fearful sob once the man's back had disappeared. The jerking motion was enough, now, to wake Alice, who blinked and began crying.

Ed held her close, rocking. "I know Alice. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's my fault Daddy left, Alice, and I'm so sorry."

* * *

Alphonse peered into the doorway. "You alright, Brother?"

Edward snorted. "What does it look like?"

It looked like a resounding, "No." Ed was a mess, even changed into his normal clothes as he was, clinging onto his baby for dear life. Al sighed, remembering the teary debacle that morning when his brother confessed what had happened, how he had gotten pregnant—and how Roy reacted upon finding out yesterday. Alphonse really couldn't blame the man for being angry and confused, but it was still horrible to see Edward in such a state.

He sighed, wheeling the chair into the room. Ed sagged visibly. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, Brother, you have to. The doctor's need this room for other patients. It's time for you to leave."

"But where am I going to go?" his brother whispered despondently, wincing as he got up, his injuries manageable but not healed.

"Roy's house, of course," Alphonse answered as lightly as possible.

"I can't go back there! He _hates_ me!"

"Brother, stop being so dramatic," Al demanded, watching Edward get situated in the wheelchair. "You told me yourself Roy said he still loves you. It's all going to be okay, and avoiding him won't help the issue."

Ed looked like he would have thrown a fit, was he not holding a giggling baby. "It's not like I've been able to move, Al. He could have come back, but—he doesn't _want_ to see me. He doesn't want me there."

"Well, that's where we're headed. You two can fight it out and make up then. You don't have much of a choice."

That evidently brought Edward up short. It was true, though; where else were they going to go? Not back to the barracks with a baby, and going to Risembool would be a nightmare. Per his brother's instructions, Alphonse hadn't told Winry or Granny Pinako what had happened. Actually, he agreed on this point; Winry was liable to murder Ed with that wrench of hers if she found out he had a baby.

Al forced himself out of his thoughts and put on a fake smile. "Come on, Brother. It's going to be fine." And with that, he started pushing.

* * *

Roy really didn't know what he was doing at the hospital. True, Ed and Alice _belonged_ at his house, but—was it right for them to come home when he was so mad? Edward and Alphonse didn't even know he was there. What was the point?

The point was that his lover and their baby were waiting to go home. And that that's what they were, no matter how that had happened. Roy hadn't been lying when he said he still loved Ed, and of _course_ he loved Alice—how could he _not_? But…the boy had lied to him.

Well, kept a secret. Maybe lying was a bit harsh. But still, Roy had been kept in the dark. How was he supposed to forgive that?

Perhaps it shouldn't be as hard as he was making it. Realistically, Roy would have done the same thing if he were in Edward's shoes. Telling him _would_ have been terrifying for the poor blonde, not knowing how he would react. And to be fair, Roy probably would have been furious if Ed had told him during the pregnancy.

Edward would be coming back to his house today. Bringing Alice with him. Roy shuddered to think what it would be like with all the tension, and Ed so sad…the boy's gaze haunted him even in the car, and the tiny sob Edward probably didn't know Roy had seen coming as he left.

With sudden decisiveness, Roy got out of his car, half running into the hospital and ignoring the nurse at the reception desk. He didn't have time for all that crap—nor did he have the energy to stay mad. He wasn't going to get the time without knowing Alice was his back, but Roy sure as hell wasn't going to waste any more moments being angry.

He almost ran headlong into Ed, who was being pushed down the hall by Alphonse. Roy smiled warmly before pushing Al out of the way, ignoring their surprised expressions. "'Scuse me, Al, but I believe that the father should be the one rolling his child's mother out of the hospital." He winked at the boy and Alphonse grinned in understanding.

Edward was still lost. "Roy," he said desperately, turning half around. "I'm _sorry_, I really am, please—"

Roy bent down and kissed the blonde's head, bringing him up short. "It's okay. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have known, but…it's not worth it to stay mad at you. I'd rather put it behind us and just…be with you."

The boy nodded mutely, a disbelieving smile creeping onto his face. In his lap, Alice waved her fist about. Edward was silent as Roy stopped to fill out some last-minute forms, and still quiet on the way to the car. The blonde started to head for the front seat, and Roy could have laughed.

"No, no, you and the baby in back."

Ed pouted but followed his instructions, only for Roy to stop him just as he began to get in. Roy smiled at him for a moment, before kissing him, whispering just one thing against Edward's lips: "We have a beautiful baby."

* * *

**Happy ending, yes? Soppy and hard to write cause it just felt cheesy, but at least Roy didn't walk out XD I was going to try to keep the suspense up for one more chapter...but I just couldn't.**

**So yes. This is it. Hope y'all like it~**

**Up next I'm starting a RoyEd wedding fic, so if you haven't voted in the poll on my profile yet, please do! I need opinions!**

**Also! I didn't have time to type any of this earlier, but this fic is my most reviewed fic to date (with more than twice as many reviews as the next highest). It's also my most viewed fic. I've gotten to type this announcement on almost all of my major fics lately, and I just have to say (as always) THANK YOU. Until I started writing, I never understood why people were so excited about reviews, but it is honestly the best feeling in the world to have someone write back to me about my stories (and faves and follows make me squeal a little as well). So yeah, just wanted to thank you guys for reading and encouraging me (especially on this fic, considering I actually thought it would be one people didn't like XD ) Much love to you all~**


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